Murray Hill Pet Hosp

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

http://t.co/kUi8xxjq14 I'm not bad with names, it's just that you leave absolutely no impression on people.

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

When deaf people want to interrupt each other, do they slap the other person's hands out of the way? http://t.co/I3llMmIGXa

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

"listen up, I'm only going to show you this once!" ~ suicide bomber teacher. http://t.co/TVUvaGvnlm

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

I bet people who see Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich freak out over latte art. http://t.co/01PLmMTGNm

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

http://t.co/ZmZ4zWrECU I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home.

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

http://t.co/duGvNV1sgz I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman.

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February. http://t.co/PrIeDGdnRd

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

http://t.co/X0qIng0ShZ It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity. http://t.co/ueFku1v4eL

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork". http://t.co/xxGbjC3jRv

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

"It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos http://t.co/523XQNNVon

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

Oh my god, hotels. Relax. My stay was fine. http://t.co/poa2J7fG

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

My wife said I was bad in bed so I banged her on the coffee table. Location. Location. Location. http://t.co/T6GDiWRP

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

If you buy orange juice with "Some Pulp," it's time to pick a side. http://t.co/czFF9Vvp

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

Rehab is for quitters, and Lindsay Lohan is no quitter. http://t.co/qsdjJQnN

[Murray Hill Pet Hosp @MHPH]

on the train home long day at work.