Meagan Bateman

I have found that I am as smart as Arthur Shappey, as sweet as Sherlock Holmes, and as graceful as Dr Horrible

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

Planning my trip to Knoxville- staying at The Oliver Hotel. Here's a perk for friends and family: https://t.co/K9Uj6lec2u @THEOLIVERHOTEL

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

Thanks for the most fun last night @davebarnesmusic I think I could see you in concert every weekend & never get tired of you! @Duesenbert

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

When you're at a concert & all you want to do is find an unoccupied corner & read your book. And maybe turn down the volume. #nerdproblems

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

"You left the tv on." "It's been on for 11 years." This movie is so strange. I love it. #WelcomeToMe #KristenWiig

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

*song comes on radio* Delaney: Ooh this is a fun song! Song: "And I'm passed out on the floor..." Delaney: Well. @bookwormparty

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

ROADTRIP. To the beach! @bookwormparty @bekah_melvin @brittanycox_pcl #thankgodforjudy

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

"They say that in extreme situations, ppl can exhibit superhuman strength," I tell myself while trying to finish the other half of a burrito

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

No one has ever actually slept 8 hours. That's just a lie made up by the government.

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

It's cool how TV shows are at a reasonable volume and then commercials are so loud that I fall down and have to use my Life Alert.

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

If you ask someone if their car needs an oil change enough times, you legally become their dad. It's just the law, sorry about it.

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I'm a valued customer at several grocery stores.

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

Before we talk about this very complicated topic, you should know that I read several sentences about it in an article once.

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

My favorite part of flying is when you land & the bell dings & you put on boxing gloves & start punching other passengers for your bag.

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

If you're in a public bathroom, let other people know it's occupied by lightly shuffling your feet & then breaking out into a saxophone solo

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

haha whoa sorry for faving a bunch of your tweets there. U just seem funny and cool and I'm outside if u wanna hang I can drive it's no prob

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

Me throughout the entire #TheHomesman movie: WHAT THE WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

I think I accidentally started liking #BuffyTheVampireSlayer . The 1995 charm got to me.

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

Summation of my thoughts during #JurrasicWorld : I miss Jeff Goldblum and John Williams.

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

"I think Hillary would be disappointed in me." "Hillary Clinton?" "No, Hillary Duff." #BuzzFeed

[Meagan Bateman @MIBateman528]

Delaney: "I looked at the weather and I didn't see a forcast for snitches trippin'." This is why we're friends. @bookwormparty