MICHAEL

THE ORIGINAL MICHAEL. LUCIFER SUCKS. I HATE TWITTER. AGE: 14 (BILLION)

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

@ChloeandWhiskey THIS MESSAGE IS VERY CONFUSING BUT I'LL TAKE IT

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

IDEALLY I'D LIKE PEOPLE IN A 50 FOOT RADIUS OF ME TO BE ABOUT 3.5 BUT I USUALLY DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO GET THEM ABOVE MORE THAN 2

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

@AntarcticEchoes THERE ARE TOO MANY MICHAELS ANYWAY

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

@Liliesatdusk THANKS I DO RUN HOT

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

THERE ARE WAY MORE KINDS OF CHEESE THAN YOU THINK THERE'D BE

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

SURE SEX IS GOOD BUT HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR WINGS GROOMED BY SOMEONE THAT'S NOT YOUR SIBLING

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

@Urielisdead

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

PLEASE DON'T

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

[seeing an angel, appearing to be a glorious half-bird, half-human being]

me: *very hesitantly throwing bread at it*

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

I DIDN'T DIE I JUST NEEDED A BREAK FROM THE PLACE WHERE I LEARNED HUMANS ARE EATING LIVESTOCK DEWORMER

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

@Sassvillain @HarmonyWhitlock IF YOU THROW A PAPER BAG CONTAINING A BAGEL, CREAM CHEESE, AND A KNIFE AT ME I'LL EAT IT. IF YOU OFFER COFFEE WITHOUT THROWING IT AT ME I'LL EAT THE BAGEL SITTING NEXT TO YOU

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

@HarmonyWhitlock IF THE BREAD IS INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED I MIGHT CONSIDER IT

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

IF HUMANS ARE GOOD THEN EXPLAIN ENDING DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

A haunted house but for awkward interactions. Someone pops out at you and you're like "nice to meet you" and they're like "haha actually we've already met"

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

@MartinEnzoKort @manoaalatus I SUPPORT THIS MESSAGE

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

@RaeRaeforReal @LuciferNetflix @Ildymojo @Henderson_Joe @ChrisRafferty @Aimee_Garcia @dbwofficial @kevinmalejandro @ScarMestevez @RachaelEHarris @LesleyAnnBrandt I'M THE BETTER TWIN

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

WHAT AM I - A BILLENIAL?

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

"I JUST REALIZED LINDA DOESN'T LOVE ME"

[Reese Getty @ReeseGetty]

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[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

@manoaalatus I MEANT THAT I EXISTED WITHIN A TIMELESS VOID
EXISTENCE ITSELF COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. BUT IT ALSO COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE. BEING A SON OF GOD IS AN EXPERIENCE

[MICHAEL @MICHAELONEARTH]

I'M NOT SURE WHY HUMANS HATE MONDAY SO MUCH BUT IN ANY CASE IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY