𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧.

⠀⠀
⠀༨⠀ ͡ ⠀ ◜𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧 : !◞ ⠀i⠀need⠀𝙮𝙤𝙪⠀to⠀live⠀so⠀𝘪⠀can⠀live⠀,⠀HURRY⠀UP⠀!
♯⠀𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓⠀𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒⠀.⠀ 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡 ⠀𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗬. ⠀🎤🎶
⠀⠀

[quotebot against humanity. @cIowneryism]

hi, the most annoying person you’ve ever encountered here!

[quotebot against humanity. @cIowneryism]

i'm gonna turn into godzilla and shoot lasers out my butt.

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

SHUT UP AND LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT—!! THIS IS ENTIRELY ESSENTIAL FOR A HEARTTHROB LIKE ME!!

[𖥨 �� ETHAN ❓ @M4DEFORTHIS]

you lost me at ‘apocalypse kids’ dude 💀.

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

Oh but you're into old-ER peop—

[┆ 🥊 @ALOOFSURVIVOR]

I'm not into old people.

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

I AM THE 𝘓𝘐𝘍𝘌 - 𝘍𝘖𝘙𝘊𝘌 AT PARTIES. I am what livens up a social gathering and am NOT a party - pooper. Meanwhile, the only audience you're getting is 80-year-old retired grandmas.

[┆ 🥊 @ALOOFSURVIVOR]

Says you.

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

William's going to say something sappy, and then he'll start SWOONING about how strong and manly but gentle Uncus' hands are and the latter will make a pickup line, yada - yada ... Then comes the wedding, honeymoon, 5 apocalypse children and then we'll be god-fathers together!

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

Ok, ok ... We temporarily steal all of the colas from the supplies so only one is left. And then they're going to reach for the cola and then ... boom!

Their hands touch at the same time. They make eye - contact, and then Uncus is going to say something really sappy, and then—

[𖥨 ╱ ETHAN ❓ @M4DEFORTHIS]

.. actually that doesn’t seem half bad of an idea but .. uncus will kill me if he finds out!

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

You're such a party-pooper, dude.

[┆ 🥊 @ALOOFSURVIVOR]

I'll kill you

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

YESSSS !! See, someone gets it. We're tots going to make you a nonbinary star ... starting right. Now.

[—— 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍 𝑜𝑟 𝐝𝐢𝐞 ♠︎ ˎˊ˗ @GAMBLETHESHOT]

⠀
⠀
yer right . . . MORE GLITTER !
⠀
⠀

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

it's lacking something.

it's lacking glitter.

[—— 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍 𝑜𝑟 𝐝𝐢𝐞 ♠︎ ˎˊ˗ @GAMBLETHESHOT]

⠀
⠀
PRIDE MONTH . CELEBRATE ME .
⠀
⠀

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

EVERY SINGLE GUY EVER HAS TO GIVE ME ALL THEIR ATTENTION.

[quotebot against humanity. @cIowneryism]

homos finally become visible this month ❤️ looks like pda is gonna be allowed.

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

FIRST OFF !! .... We are so getting those two to hold hands.

[𖥨 ╱ ETHAN ❓ @M4DEFORTHIS]

okay, okay — 💧

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

So you won't mind if I told Uncus.

[┆ 🥊 @ALOOFSURVIVOR]

Yes I am 100% sure. Does it look like I'm not 100% sure?

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

Because you're the first guy I talked to about this. NOW COME HITHER - WE'VE GOT A JOB TO DO !!

[𖥨 ╱ ETHAN ❓ @M4DEFORTHIS]

dude why me .. you know im no good with this romance-y type of thing 💧.

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

Are you absolutely 100% sure.

[┆ 🥊 @ALOOFSURVIVOR]

I didn't imply #### . You just went a extra mile with little info.

[quotebot against humanity. @cIowneryism]

so for that particular thing, it might be better just to run away. like a little baby. which i’m not, but i’ll act like it if it gets me away from harm.

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

We don't HAVE to let them know! We can just err ... Dis - CREE - tly nudge them together until one of those losers decides to finally confess. And then you'll come out with a camera in hand, and I'll sing one of my hit single love-songs to set the mood -

[𖥨 ╱ ETHAN ❓ @M4DEFORTHIS]

plus, will’s gonna be real ####ed off if he finds out..

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

You're going to be my lovely assistant in a thing I like to call match - making ~ ✨

Oh, and - no, you can't back out of this. I already appointed you and all.

[𖥨 ╱ ETHAN ❓ @M4DEFORTHIS]

whaaat?? ( blissfully unaware. )

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

I asked William about it and he kept shushing me like ... twice. I think he's suuuuuuper shy about it.

SO! ( grin. ) You know what we're gonna do today, Ethy-boy ~ ?

[𖥨 ╱ ETHAN ❓ @M4DEFORTHIS]

( brow raise. )

when you put it like that ..

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

( slapping both hands over his mouth. )

SSHHHH !! .... but you see it too, don't you? That INCH of a smile when he's glancing over the big guy. The way they fight together ALL the time—and ALWAYS plan on where to loot ...

It's total. Textbook. Cruh - shing !

[𖥨 ╱ ETHAN ❓ @M4DEFORTHIS]

wait wait — UNCUS????

[𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧. @MICTHR0W]

... i think our resident zombie - puncher has SO got the hots over mister 'i suplex zombies'.

[𖥨 ╱ ETHAN ❓ @M4DEFORTHIS]

SHHH SHHH — 💧

.. what is it ..?