𓆩♡𓆪 𝓡uby’s 𝓡osarium
♱ 𝔉aded 𝓐ngel ⋮ 𝓗eaven’s 𝓛ost 𝓓ove
" i've whispered every little prayer
hoping someone would hear
but the sky remains empty
and even my faith
is beginning to disappear "
୨୧ ── 🕯
look back and find him still coming, jaws parted, hunger burning in his eyes. he doesn’t hate me. he’s simply hungry, and i’m his meal. how cruel to know my only purpose is to satisfy another creature’s appetite.
i want to be a lamb lost in the woods, with a hungry wolf on my trail, catching the scent of my fear. hear his paws crushing dead branches, growing closer with every passing second. run until my chest burns, my legs give out and terror becomes the only thing keeping me alive.
Clarice has this nasty habit of stripping away the varnish of human superiority and exposing the shit underneath: pretentious, miserably fragile creatures so fucking arrogant they actually believe their precious consciousness makes them any less animalistic.
please, give me your contempt. don’t spare my feelings. treat me like someone you regret knowing. make me feel small, unwanted, deserving of the abandonment I fear. perhaps hearing my suspicions out loud will make me call the truth what I’ve always called insecurity.
there is something i hold for you between my ribs. it grows out in branches, tangling between my lungs, wringing around my heart. this.. thing could be nothing but contempt, nourished and watered with the very insult of your being. i feels its thorns rake down my spine, aching.
the most frustrating part of writing is seeing everything so clearly in my head, knowing exactly what I want to convey, yet never finding words that do justice to what I imagined
i made up an entire story in my head about having a stalker, someone watching me from afar as if i were worthy of such devotion. i wish it were true so badly. god, what a pathetic kind of loneliness