Michael Brantl

Tweets are my own unless you don’t like one in which case those are yours.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

A: Hey, do you want some homemade trail mix? B: That's just m&m's you poured into a ziplock bag.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

@ItsMeCarolAMPTP j

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

Sometimes I look at my spam folder in gmail and wonder what my life would’ve been like if I was a robot.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

January show drop. 📸: @prettypanini https://t.co/TpH5akeExh

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

Sorry I missed the final exam professor, I was donating blood.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

Chilling with my girl as she tells me about bionic reading.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

I’d be an incredible Spider-Man if they’d let me.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

I never want to be read for filth, but I will if I have to.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

No one on here is talking about my knee pain

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

I love being astonished.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

It’s based to listen to the president, but sometimes can be cringe.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

@thetinyraccoon Truer now more than ever.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

I’m all about hustle culture. I’ll tell a stranger that a company is lucky to have them when they post a job update on LinkedIn. I’ll DM and ask why they didn’t like my post. I’ll show up at their new job and steal their shit.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

I read hundreds of DOJ filings everyday for sport. Just read the Trump one. This is a robust document filled with many words. One after another. They just keep coming.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

My dog has been sketchy to me ever since I told him he was adopted.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

Nobody wants your filthy shoes on Depop.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

Comparing use by dates on perishable items with my buddies before work.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

Seems chill.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

@StannyStanny I am not his secretary!

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

My dog got more birthday cards this year than I did.

[Michael Brantl @MJBrantl]

If I saw Jake from State Farm, I’d flip.