MJH Store

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[Ezzy @EzzyMUFC]

Dawg😭😭

[MJH Store @MJHstore2020]

That will cover a left winger and midfielder https://t.co/ph4iUYEoPu

[MJH Store @MJHstore2020]

@Gaz3putt Head like a medicine ball!

[MJH Store @MJHstore2020]

@txtoverthinkers Makes me think of Toys R Us

[MJH Store @MJHstore2020]

@Utdbrizzy Dorgu on the right wing

[Simons @Simon_Ingari]

Boss: We are not allowed to work from home.

Employee: Okay.

Boss: The client texted you at 9 pm yesterday. Why didn’t you respond?

Employee: We are not allowed to work from home.

Work boundaries matter.

[Henry Winter @henrywinter]

It’s Carrick, you know. Can’t believe the chippiness from Scholes. It’s Carrick who's helping out the club he loves, stepping into the breach after Amorim’s meltdown. You can question Carrick's subs against 10 men. Amad could have been earlier. Heaven can play left-back - Malacia's so off the pace. It’s not Carrick's squad. Areas need strengthening, full-back, central midfield, probably a winger. You can’t question Carrick’s commitment.

Carrick’s only intention is to help out Manchester United. It’s not about him. It’s about the club. It’s about making the fans believe again, proud of their team again. It’s about starting the rebuilding. United’s board are being very sensible. Give Carrick until the end of the season, get them in the Champions League, and then make a decision on permanent head coach. There's far more chance of getting an elite manager if in the CL. Carrick’s not perfect but at least he’s chipping in, not being chippy. #MUFC

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper of 20 years, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 million.

Guido is deaf which is why he got the job in the first place.

The Godfather assumed that since Guido could not hear anything, he could never testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million,
he takes along his personal lawyer because he knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

[Crazy Vibes @CrazyVibes_1]

One afternoon, my daughter went to the local shelter with a friend, just planning to look at the cats. While they were there, a woman walked in carrying a thin, half-grown kitten in a box. She said she needed to surrender him because there was “something wrong” with him.
When the shelter staff lifted him onto the counter, it was clear he was struggling. His tiny body trembled, his head bobbed uncontrollably, and when he tried to stand, his legs slid out from under him like a newborn calf learning to walk.
The worker quietly told the woman he was “unadoptable” and would likely be euthanized. Paperwork was handed over. That’s when my daughter stepped forward and said, “Please give him to me. My mom will be mad for about ten minutes… but that’s all.”
And that’s how Ludicrous joined our family.
He was diagnosed with cerebellar hypoplasia. As he grew older, his balance improved little by little. He still has moments where he wobbles or tumbles, and when he runs alongside our other cats, it sounds like a baby colt charging through the house.
But more than anything, he is gentle and affectionate. He loves to be held, purring softly into my ear. Sunbeams are his favorite spot, tuna makes him light up, and treats are pure joy.
Today, he’s twelve years old — and every unsteady step he takes is a reminder that being different never meant being unloved.

By born legend

[Fondre @UTDFondree]

Throwback to when Kenny Dalglish missed an open net vs. Manchester United.

Wait was Man United actually the first team to play such a high line? What kind of high line is that?🤯

[Insane Reality Leaks @InsaneReality]

This is why you don’t tailgate.

[Piers Morgan @piersmorgan]

PREDICTION: We are going to destroy them.

[Maxwell Jacob Friedman™️ @The_MJF]

@rhinocerosbug

[Mr PitBull Stories @MrPitbull07]

I found him shivering in the parking lot at work, trying to make himself invisible against a concrete pylon near the loading dock.

When I pointed him out, my manager didn't call animal control. He didn't offer to help. He looked at his watch, sighed with annoyance, and said the coldest sentence I have ever heard:
“If nobody picks him up by 5:00 PM, we will make him disappear.”

He didn't mean they would take him to a shelter.
He meant disappear.

I looked down at the kitten. He was a tiny, filthy black-and-white Tuxedo cat, terrified of the noise of the trucks, closing his eyes and waiting for whatever bad thing was going to happen to him next.

I couldn't walk away. I physically couldn't do it.
I scooped him up—he weighed absolutely nothing, just a bag of bones and dirty fur—and I walked straight to my car. I didn't care about the shift. I didn't care about the rules.

So I wrapped this little guy up in my jacket, brought him home, and set him up a warm, cozy corner in a cardboard box lined with my softest blankets. He didn't explore. He didn't run. He just curled into a tight, trembling ball and passed out. He was completely exhausted.

Then came the scary part: His first bath.

He was covered in engine grease and parking lot grime. I filled the sink with warm water, expecting a fight. Most stray cats turn into a buzzsaw when they touch water. I put on thick gloves, took a deep breath, and lowered him in.

But he didn't scratch.
He didn't scream.
He didn't try to escape.

As the warm water hit his skin, he actually leaned into my hand. He looked up at me with huge, trusting green eyes as the black, oily water ran down the drain.
He somehow stayed calm through the whole thing—like being gentle and steady is just part of who he is.

It was like he knew.
You are washing away the bad part. You are washing away the cold.

The vet confirmed what my heart already knew—he was exhausted, severely underfed, and had clearly been having a rough time surviving on his own. But underneath the ribs and the grime, he is a fighter.

For now, he’s separated from my other pets while he settles in and we take things slow.
Safety first, comfort always.

And let me tell you…
He is the gentlest, most curious, calm little black-and-white tuxedo cat I have ever met.
He follows me around the room with those big eyes, watching my every move, like he’s finally realizing that he’s safe. That the foot isn't going to kick him. That the hand isn't going to shoo him away.

Then he curls up in his clean towel and falls asleep, looking like a little angel all snuggled in—as if he’s been waiting for this exact moment his whole life.

My manager said he was going to "make him disappear."
He was wrong.
He didn't disappear.
He just finally appeared in the one place he was always meant to be.

Maybe he didn’t get abandoned…
Maybe he just found the right door.

Credit: Born legend

[MJH Store @MJHstore2020]

@bignorms Remember when Cloughie gave you that £50 fine for playing that Sunday League game

[Crazy Vibes @CrazyVibes_1]

I’m a landlord. I know, everyone hates landlords. But I have a tenant, Sarah, who has been with me for five years. She’s never late. Last month, she called me sobbing because she found a stray kitten in the rain, but my lease says "No Pets."
I went over there, intending to be firm. I saw her—a lonely woman working two jobs—holding that tiny ball of fur, and I saw her eyes. She wasn't just asking for a cat; she was asking for a reason to come home.
"I don't see a cat," I told her, looking straight at the kitten on the sofa. "I see a very small, very quiet... decorative pillow. And my lease says nothing against pillows." I lowered her rent by $50 "for maintenance" so she could afford the vet. Being a "good businessman" doesn't mean you have to stop being a human.

[Max Scott @maxbscott]

It’s been 1,107 days since Manchester City were charged by the Premier League.

It’s been around 5,900 days since the club’s first alleged breach of sponsorship rules.

By comparison, the Premier League took about 835 days in total to charge, punish, and conclude all appeals in the PSR cases involving Everton (both cases) and Nottingham Forest.

[Insane Reality Leaks @InsaneReality]

Park like that and people will let you know

[Stefan Peck 📷📸 @stefanpeck78]

Hey @Morrisons can I pay £14 for two breakfasts instead.