God I miss when the Pirates bullpen was good
If I was a reliever I’d be Brandon Cumpton cause I also shoot tons of cum due to my crippling porn addiction
Tried to fuck the Pringles can but as usual I can’t feel anything. My dick is way too small for it anyway. Maybe I’ll try one of those M&M mini tubes
The Giants offense is almost as disgusting as I am
I feel the same. I’m srsly struggling to date again especially while trying to watch all 162 Rockies games this year. I tried the apps but I’m batting like Jordan Beck on them
Never mind that im a fat unlovable Virgin who just made love to his mattress for the second time today
Looking for some genuine discourse, even tho it’s cringe. I’m srsly struggling to date again bc of my fear of being heartbroken. I really miss sharing life with someone & I long for all the milestones. But I’m scared to keep starting over & to be vulnerable again. Any wise words?
Tried to play catch with my favorite player, Jesus Sanchez, today. Yeah he’s my favorite player cause I’m a weird little goblin chud. Anyway he turned around as I threw him my ball and I think I just ruined his season, along with getting banned from all MLB games for life
it’s just wild to me that baseball twitter simultaneously blames this woman for a teams loss while also just being straight vile. men aren’t lonely enough.
Dodgers-Phillies is on at the bar rn that’s pretty cool
Nobody is within 3 seats of me here, people would rather stand than be near me cause I’m so fucking repulsive.
Roki Sasaki is dealing tonight
I’m what they call a 3 outcome hitter at the bar
Strikeout swinging, strikeout looking, and walks
Ask a girl out and get rejected? Strikeout swinging
Smile at a girl across the bar and get a look of disgust? Caught looking
Leave without even attempting to talk to a girl? Walk
Finally pulled a girl last night at the bar and when we were on the way out I accidentally bumped into an elderly woman and told her to “suck my fucking dick bitch.”
This girl left me after that. I PCA’d a 99% catch probability fly ball
I was talking to a girl named Ashley one time, and her friend across the bar said “Stop talking to her. You are scarin’ ashley”
I said “Aaron Ashby?” and they scurried away. I had spent $49 on a shot of Don Julio 1942 for her.
Aaron Ashby had 2 strikeouts today.