Monica Colwell

Worst Cooks in America Season 18 Contestant

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@meaganmullins I’m glad mine ain’t the only one 😩😩😩😩

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

Why is it that you men need to shit EVERY TIME your woman needs you to do something? I could tell Tyler to pass me the remote that’s laying next to him and he’d say “hold on I got to shit” and then go take a 45 minute dump. Do all men have IBS as soon as chores are mentioned?

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@noskcaJttaM That’s the only sport y’all would be all-stars in

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@Saravara7 You’ll never catch me on Dancing With The Stars 😂

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

Tried to jokingly WAP tonight and ended up breaking 2 toes. Mommas, don’t WAP.

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@Erin_D_Sullivan I can’t get it out of my head thanks to TikTok 😩😩😩😩🙈

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@arifunnycomedy @iamcardib Thank you!!!! I believe I need Worst Dancers in America more than I need Worst Cooks In America 😂😂 my little piggies are HURTTTTTIN this morning!!

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@arifunnycomedy Girlll save yourself your precious toes and don’t listen to it!!!! It’s a trap!!! I can’t dance to save my life so I was goofing around but I threw my leg up and literally collided with the dang kitchen table 🙈🙈🙈 May need my toes amputated.. I’ll be sending @iamcardib the bill

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@Saravara7 @logic_abstract @arifunnycomedy @lousharamatyan @altonbrown Nope! I dreaded it every week thinking it’d be next 😂

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@arifunnycomedy @Saravara7 @logic_abstract @lousharamatyan Food Network was TRYING to send us all home 😂😂😂

[Sarah Griffith @Saravara7]

This popped up in my FB memories; still true. I always feel for the #WorstCooks on fish day. @logic_abstract @arifunnycomedy @lousharamatyan @MLColwell12 bring back memories? 😂

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@Saravara7 Ouch that sounds extremely painful!! 😩

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

Ain’t no pain like the back pain that comes with having an epidural

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@danielle_14 Congratulations!!! Can’t wait to see pics!!

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@Julief125 Will you let my boyfriend know that? I’ve been trying to tell him that for a while now but he just doesn’t understand

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@TGayheart12 Maybe you need to see if they’ll give you shooting lessons next time you buy one

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

Tyler bought a gun this morning. We just got home and there was a huge snake beside our porch

Tyler- “I’ve got this” *pulls out gun and shoots 3 times*

Long story short there’s now a live snake undereneath our home

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@Saravara7 Oh no!!! At least he got was he was going after 😂😂

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

@Saravara7 Not appropriate for Food Network

[Monica Colwell @MLColwell12]

Work- *sends email about termination in 2 weeks*
My response- “my manager sucks, you’re shitty for laying us off during a pandemic, billion $ company but can’t give women paid maternity leave, I wouldn’t let my dog work for y’all”

Needless to say I think I’m getting fired today