@LF27_ No matter how you decide to proceed, you need to know your not alone and can count on their support for whaterver that comes next.
And most importantly, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. You were scared. That pain is not on you.
Take as much time as you need and be safe
@LF27_ First of all, you're not bothering anyone. What he did to you was horrible.
And while I understand you feel like you can't expose him, you seriously need to speak up about it with somebody you trust.