Some people gave up every ordinary Monday they had left so the rest of us could spend ours complaining about traffic and burning the first batch of burgers.
Don't waste it. Hug your people. Mean it today. 🇺🇸
Stay Cool 💋
I disappeared for one week and some of you immediately launched a full investigation into my love life 😭
Friends.
I met a man.
On a rooftop.
That is currently the entire plot 💀
Meanwhile my messages are full of people acting like we're three seasons deep into a television series.
Anyway I appreciate the enthusiasm.
If I get married you'll know.
If I end up crying into ice cream you'll probably know that too.
Stay Cool 💋
Pretend I'm your girlfriend.
What kind of boyfriend are you? Because if your answer is "anything you want princess" I regret to inform you that's how I end up with three cats and a redecorated apartment by Tuesday 😭
I want the man who looks me in the eye in a boutique and goes "absolutely not, you have four black jackets at home."
Calm. Confident. Completely immovable.
And when I start negotiating, throws me over his shoulder and carries me out of the store like a sack of very expensive potatoes 😘
Stay Cool 💋
Pretend I'm your girlfriend.
What kind of boyfriend are you? Because if your answer is "anything you want princess" I regret to inform you that's how I end up with three cats and a redecorated apartment by Tuesday 😭
I want the man who looks me in the eye in a boutique and goes "absolutely not, you have four black jackets at home."
Calm. Confident. Completely immovable.
And when I start negotiating, throws me over his shoulder and carries me out of the store like a sack of very expensive potatoes 😘
Stay Cool 💋