Moonshine McWhiskey

Bootlegger and Varmint Hunter

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

@J_K9 @thejournal_ie @sweetoblivion26 It's illegal subletting. Evict the turds.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

@Slate @pattonoswalt This is a bit of a reach. Climate change, trench warfare. Greed on both sides of this argument.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

“@ChrisRRegan: Never read any Gabriel Garcia Marquez. What's a good movie based on one of his books?” Anchorman 2.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

Farting the theme music to Shark Tank. That'd be a marketable skill.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

@BryanBroaddus @Alexander92DC If Donald isn't available I'm thinking they take Z. Martin.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

There's a Hangover Part 3? When the fuck did they sneak that by us?

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

Daylight Savings Time is shit. I want my hour back. Government bullshit.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

That pistachio nut commercial where Stephen Colbert's head turns into a pistachio, what a shit commercial.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

@Pisces_ht we struggle with all the self absorption out there.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

@weknowwhatsbest @Eagle_Vision sold them some solar panels too.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

@howardfineman loosen your tie, blood flow is not reaching your brain.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

Watching the Oscars. Who gives a shit about most of these categories? And most of these actors are morons.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

I'm going on the Mediterranean Diet. I'll drink a lot of wine and... Um... what else do they eat in the Mediterranean?

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

“@GOOD: How Yo Gabba Gabba! changed the face of children's television http://t.co/mOAgyiChmw” Yo Gabba Gabba is godawful shit.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

“@badassdigest: Kurt Cobain's home town has unveiled a statue of the Nirvana frontman CRYING." Good Lord. It's awful.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

I'm competing in short track lint rolling. NBC probably won't show it though. Cheap bastards. #LesserKnownOlympicSports

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

“@AriFleischer: There was nothing good about the Soviet Union. Nothing.” What are you talking about? They made great villains.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

Reports of stray dogs being hunted and killed in Sochi are overblown. Everyone needs to calm down. They eat them.

[Moonshine McWhiskey @MMcWhiskey]

“@LALSports: Malcolm Smith becomes only the 3rd LB to win SB MVP. (Randy White SB XXII and Chuck Howley SB V) Randy White was a DT.