martin mc

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

I will never regret the things I did wrong. I will only regret the good things I did for the wrong people...

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

The only committment i have in my life is alcohol .... i quite like it this way

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

I don’t make mistakes…I date them or if i'm drunk i marry them.

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Parent says don’t drink Friends says don’t drink Cops says don’t drink Are they saving it for themselves? :/

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could have been beer..

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

I drink to make other people more interesting.

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Today is national animal day. Please take a moment to remember your ex.

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Your ex asking if you can still be friends after a break- up is like a kidnapper telling you to keep in touch.!

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the fuck is my ceiling?!

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. Sincerely, the opportunist.

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

Act single, see double, drink triple..

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

My boss didn’t know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.

[martin mc @MMcilhone]

@StinsonHunter Can you get intouch with me please mate cheers if you can