MOUNTAIN

DOOMTREE TOUR VAN. ALWAYS GO. NEVER RESTING.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

NOW THAT SLEIGH IS PARKED TIL NEXT YEAR, VAN RETURNS TO TOP OF VEHICLE SOCIAL HIERARCHY.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

HIGH OCTANE EGGNOG. IT’S 5PM SOMEWHERE.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

PARKING LOT OF NEW FRIENDS AT MINNESOTA HISTORY CENTER SPELLBOUND BY MOUNTAIN’S TOUR STORIES. TURNS OUT MOUNTAIN HAS MAGNETIC PERSONALITY (AND BODY PANELING).

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

NO ONE WORRY BOUT MOUNTAIN.

MOUNTAIN IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY—HITTING HISTORY CENTER GYM EVERY MORNING. JUST LIKE MAGIC SHOW: PRETTIEST MODEL GETS CUT IN HALF.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

MOUNTAIN INDUCTED INTO MINNESOTA HISTORY CENTER—ON DISPLAY FOR WORLD TO ADMIRE THIS WEEKEND.

MOUNTAIN HAS ATTAINED IMMORTALITY.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

MOUNTAIN HAS BEEN TAKING A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA TO RECENTER, REALIGN WHEELS AND FOCUS. BUT SPRING MEANS SNOW CHAINS ARE OFF AND LIGHTWEIGHT SYNTHETHETIC OIL MAKES MOUNTAIN FEEL LIKE A NEW VAN. BIG NEWS IS COMING FROM MOUNTAIN SOON.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

MOUNTAIN ENDING THIS TINDER DATE AS SOON AS SERVER BRINGS CHECK. “DISORIENTATED” IS A DEALBREAKER, NO MATTER HOW CUTE THE COUPE.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

A GENTLEVAN OUGHT TO REMAIN IMPARTIAL, BUT MOUNTAIN ADMITS LEFT TURNS ARE MORE FUN.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

MOUNTAINS HATES COLD WEATHER. LUCKILY MOUNTAIN’S MOM SEWS MICROWAVABLE CLOTH BAGS FILLED WITH RICE TO KEEP EVERYONE TOASTY.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

OOOH, TAYLOR SWIFT, WHAT NOVELTY, WHAT BRILLIANCE--USING VANS TO PROMOTE MUSIC. EXCUSE MOUNTAIN WHILE EYES ROLL BACK INTO ENGINE BLOCK.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

CARAVAN?
UNTIL RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE, MOUNTAIN THOUGHT IT WAS "CARE-OF-VAN."

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

THUNDERSTORMS ARE THE CARWASHES OF THE WILD.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

THE SHIVERING WILL STOP AS SOON AS PARTS FREEZE AND FUSE TOGETHER.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

FOURTH TASTING COURSE. MOUNTAIN GOING TO HAVE TO LOOSEN TIMING BELT. LITTLE FRENCH COUP NOW EXPLAINING HOW TO PAIR KIMCHI AND COOLANT.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

FRIENDS IN TOWN MOUNTAIN HASN'T SEEN SINCE THE DEALERSHIP. LATE NIGHT OUT TO TOAST THE ONES WE'VE LOST AND LOVE THE ONES STILL DRIVING.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

IT'S BACK! MOUNTAIN BUYING ENTIRE PALETTE OF PUMPKIN SPICE BRAKE FLUID.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

MOUNTAIN FELL ASLEEP IN WARRIOR POSE. SIGN OF EXHAUSTION OR ENLIGHTENMENT? MOUNTAIN NOT SURE.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

MOUNTAIN HAD DREAM THAT WHEELS TURNED TO LEGS. HAD TO HUNT FOR FOOD, SEARCH FOR MATE, AND ONE DAY DIE. NO MORE LITTLE MERMAID BEFORE BED.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

WHAT MOUNTAIN HAVE TO DO TO GET BLUE CHECK? THEY THINK MOUNTAIN IS DOOMTREE VAN IMPERSONATOR, OR WHAT? WOULD HAVE AIMED HIGHER, GUY.

[MOUNTAIN @MOUNTAINGOOD]

JUST THIS ONCE, MOUNTAIN GOING TO RESET OWN CLOCK.