🦡 Matt 🦡

Been in this shit since '92. Socially exhausted from the last 17 years (and counting!) of staring into the Twitter abyss. Mobius17 in the azure firmament.

[Chuck Bass @ChuckFBass]

Interesting way to announce Brandon Aiyuk is signing with the Chiefs.

[Andrei #20🕊️ @mavericul]

"swarmed by fans" and it's 3 teenagers

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but skyscrapers are vertical and pools are flat

[🦡 Matt 🦡 @MShadows17]

I mentioned it earlier this week: Fickell is great at getting talent in the building, and this year seems like it has an especially good incoming group.

Needs to take that next step on in-game coaching, but consider me cautiously optimistic this year.

[Hayes Fawcett @Hayesfawcett3]

BREAKING: Four-Star Safety Mekhi Williams has Committed to Wisconsin, he tells me for @Rivals

The 6’3 175 S recently decommitted from Florida State

“John 13:34”

https://t.co/sdSx0Z5BNZ

[ms wiener mcgee @fartbuttsex30]

nah man the cuck poop tube is kinda wild

[🅱️ete oaks @b0newalljackson]

carrying her across the threshold into the honeymoon suite then taking the gnarliest shit of my life

[🦡 Matt 🦡 @MShadows17]

Also, I know there is a very "what have you done for me lately" mindset in sports, but I feel too many are giving up on the guy too soon.

Sure, he might never be the pitcher he was trending to be pre-surgery, but the sample size is too small to say that for sure.

[🦡 Matt 🦡 @MShadows17]

All right, Bobby. Your last few starts haven't been great. Gotta start finding a way to get back on track.

[Milwaukee Brewers @Brewers]

Today's transactions

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@JaulaDePerreo How about “Let’s take another crack with a Biden.” Needs work but the possibilities are endless.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Kenn321705 I’ve never stolen an erection in my life.

[🦡 Matt 🦡 @MShadows17]

Sucks, but that is certainly understandable.

Good news is that the first four weeks are very workable even without him. If you can get him back for that Bears game on the 11th (or even the Cowboys game the following week), you should be in plenty good shape.

[Rob Demovsky @RobDemovsky]

Five months into his ACL rehab, Micah Parsons said he has four more months to go, saying that they have a strict nine-month rule especially for players who had more than just the ACL tear, revealing that he also had a meniscus procedure.

[Poker and Politics @PokerPolitics]

It was a National crisis whenever the Biden White House would “call a lid” before 5pm on a day. Now the President vanishes for a week and nobody cares.

[Bral Turlick @kneary22]

What’s funny about the whole Pablo Sanchez situation is that people have zero understanding of his purpose, history and significance.

[David Frum @davidfrum]

This is just crime

[🦡 Matt 🦡 @MShadows17]

Knowing the Packers were a big reason for this happening, but knowing the Madden Curse is potentially right there to bring him back down to Earth:

[Ian Rapoport @RapSheet]

Caleb Williams lands on the #Madden27 cover, via @EAMaddenNFL.

[🦡 Matt 🦡 @MShadows17]

Any time you are on a list with 2 first-ballot Hall or Famers, a guy who pitched 17 very solid seasons, and one of the premier pitchers in the league today (who led the league in strikeouts last year)... you are doing something very right.

[Just Baseball @JustBB_Media]

Kyle Harrison is having one of the best starts with a franchise by any pitcher EVER 🤯

[🦡 Matt 🦡 @MShadows17]

Absolutely insane stat. And also very believable.

[OptaSTATS @OptaSTATS]

So far this season:

Jacob Misiorowski: 1.65 ERA, 13.69 K/9
Kyle Harrison: 1.57 ERA, 11.46 K/9

Since ERA became official in both leagues in 1913, no other MLB team has had 2 pitchers with a sub-2.00 ERA & 11.00+ K/9 at the end of any day in June or later (min. 10 starts each).

[The Associated Press @AP]

CBS News fires longtime “60 Minutes” correspondent Scott Pelley a day after he allegedly said Editor-in-Chief Bari Weiss was “murdering the show.” https://t.co/lmL0oeDi5j

[🦡 Matt 🦡 @MShadows17]

Tyson Hardin makes the most sense time-wise. His spot in the rotation is up in Nashville, and they are also TBD for today.

Would be an aggressive move, and I'm not sure what corresponding move they would make, but the timing really lines up and would suggest he is the guy.

[Adam McCalvy @AdamMcCalvy]

There's a chance tomorrow's Brewers starter will be a call-up, Pat Murphy said.

Who ya got?

[🦡 Matt 🦡 @MShadows17]

Feel like this is the universe evening out from him robbing 3 homers in that one game.

[Rhett Bollinger @RhettBollinger]

Oh no. Jo Adell just had a ball hit off his glove and off his head for a home run. #Angels down 8-0.