Malcolm Tucker

Director of Communications for HM Loyal Opposition. I am not the story.

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

Don't worry about voting for Andy Murray, he's used to coming up short in a big final #Spoty

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

Is it just me, or does everyone look fucking miserable in the #Spoty audience?

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

@piersmorgan from what I'm hearing, you've just been fucked by a one-legged woman

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

@jamesbryantrec it's in my 'draft' email folder, on continuous stand-by like Blunkett's prostitute

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

Fucking bored of reading analyses of Ed M's 'leadership'. He's just a caretaker, a David Pleat, nothing permanent

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

Satan's Annual Christmas Party is gonna be some fucking spectacle this year!

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

Grandpa Joe - the biggest fucking benefit cheat in the history of literature

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

Fucking typical. Just as I order David M a luxury hamper >> YouGov/Sunday Times: CON 39%, LAB 42%, LDEM 9%

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

Our balls are fucking dangling over a 6pt chasm of piss!! Can someone, fuck it - anyone, just give Ed the dreaded vote of confidence!

[Tom Watson @tom_watson]

@MTucker_10 How much f****** shit is there on the menu and what f****** flavour is it?

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

@Tom_Watson we still on for that curry tomorrow night?

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

If Steve Kean was Labour Party Leader, he'd have at least another 18 months

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

Morning Niall. Now piss off from my feed you little twat

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

@johnprescott John, do promise me you'll try to get out over Christmas, yeah?!

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

RT @sickipediabot: "Never do a runner from a Kenyan Restaurant."

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

If you get a minute, do YouTube Vince Cable at the British Comedy Awards. He was disconnected to the point of autism.

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

We had a fucking 'Jokes Advisor'? Who the Fuck were they, Pauline Fowler??

[Iain Martin @iainmartin1]

DUEMA (Don't Underestimate Ed Mili Assoc) crisis talks broke up in early hours with no resolution. We are now at the mercy of the markets

[Malcolm Tucker @MTucker_10]

There's nothing like the smell of a Neo-Blairite Cabal in the morning