Mitch Weber

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

I’m starting to become a cold hard cash guy again

Something about the feel of money

Plus you get to say to the other guy

HAND IT OVER

which is cool

Especially when it’s for a fair and honest wage

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

If you put it on a croissant 🥐

I’ll eat it for breakfast lunch and dinner

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

@rogerclemens @Twins Career .202 hitter

It’s called the Mendoza line Roger and it means he sucks

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

This clip plays through my brain in every social situation (especially around cute/fun ppl)

And yet

I always end up the Goofus

Maybe I do play ball like a girl

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

@WorldWideWob Plus watching how cerebral SHAI is as a scorer. You could ban/penalize/shame foul baiting as much as you want next year and he’d still score the exact same PPG. Pure hooper

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

@WorldWideWob He’s the most gifted player with 2 moves since Captain Falcon

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

It’s not how you talk it it’s how you walk it

Coming from the guy with a limp

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

If it’s not the socks it’ll be the tightie whiteies that’ll incriminate me

They always catch a gangster on a bad underwear day

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

What the fuck is meat loaf

Serious inquiry

https://t.co/fWhIE2dFrC

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

Listen fellas just because she’s built like a blimp doesn’t make her any less combustible than one

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

Me: I tell everyone my favorite Disney movie is either Hercules or Mulan

Also me: Did not expect the fates or MUSHU dragons to hold me towards this so literally

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

If everything really is cake 🎂

Like shouldn’t we be researching the CORE!?

Take Katy Perry & a spaceship 🚀 and send her down a molten lava cake into the earth instead of firing her out of it

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

If she doesn’t love me at my curbside Prophet she doesn’t get Mr A to Z now then does she

I’m just waiting on my rocket to come

[Hoops @Hoopss]

When Stan Van Gundy lost his life savings😭

[BuccoCapital Bloke @buccocapital]

The plan? Require weekly mandatory paperwork to increase government efficiency

[katy ★ ★ @walti13lia]

if be fuming if i took that kick and someone tapped it over the line when it was clearly going to go in anyway

[Mitch Weber @MWebs3]

I’ll take Barbie over the nerds and quants and finance bros every time