Emmett L. Stone

40% linguist 60% water

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

@SurenVynn This answer is on Wikipedia (at least for those which use Hilary, as I think Michaelmas is more common): only Oxford and Dublin

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

Now the gyms are closed and the parks are crowded, instead of working out on leg-day, I just practice idolatry; it's the best way to get a golden calf.

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

Students: What is there to do being stuck inside and having no classes
My Uni: Well, you have 3 essays, a presentation, and 2 exa—
Students: I just have no idea what to do

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

@SurenVynn I know a family who all have different last names due to Russian naming traditions, and it has not done anything for family unity nor ease of filing forms

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

Media around coronavirus: wash your hands more than you think you'd need to and have limited physical contact

Observant Jews: So...business as usual

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

@StandWithUs It just stormed in

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

Although we have 'indubitable' and also 'dubitable', I dubit that we could back-form words much more than that

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

People say incest is one of the worst things out there, but it's all relative

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

I'd really love to see a Dora spinoff show where they teach Hebrew instead of Spanish called "Torah the Explorer". The monkey could be a goat or something, map-character would be a sefer Torah of course

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

I almost don't understand how that's Brits colonized so much of Africa, India, and North America when they complain so much about mildly hot or cold weather

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

I had to wait 20 years to have enough white laundry to justify a segregated laundry-cycle just for myself. Thanks to business-smart shirts getting dirty so fast

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

Some people think it's hard to sneak snacks into the cinema, but I have a few Twix up my sleeve

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

Going to a bar and ordering a mint tea is a *real* adult beverage. I have work in the morning.

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

This pub really doesn't want there to be free entry.

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

Pictionary is the fairest game. It always ends in a draw

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

On Easter, Christians celebrate Christ rising. On Passover, Jews celebrate bread not rising.

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

Passover is Manischewitz's Black Friday

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

I'm a good Jew up until I get spooked, in which case it's "Jesus Christ! What the Hell?"

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

I need caffeine to wake me up some days but the warmth of tea has a counterproductive soothing effect too

[Emmett L. Stone @M_ettstone]

I’m kept up at night—tossing and turning—with thoughts like: why can’t I sleep.