Madrib Xtra

Parody account of Madrid Xtra

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨💣BREAKING: Real Madrid and Atlético de Madrid have reached an agreement for the sale of J. Álvarez for 180 M

“Holy shit” exclaimed Florentino when he saw Jabalí Álvarez entering Valdebebas . @JosepPeredrol

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨💣 BREAKING: Florentino Pérez will sign Vitinha if he is elected president. The deal is done

Real Madrid will pay the €90 million buyout clause. IT'S A DONE DEAL!

@FabrizzoRomano @Jose_Felix_diaz @matimoretto

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

BREAKING: Enrique Riquelme wants Sergio Ramos as part of his core team in Real Madrid's presidency.

He has contacted Ramos' via a letter to explain him his future project.

Unfortunately, Ramos doesn't know how to read.

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

JUST IN🚨: Manchester City are hiring Enzo Maresca (bald as a billiard ball) to be able to reject Madrid’s last offer

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨💣 BREAKING: Real Madrid are going all in for Rodri. An official bid of €80M + €15M in add-ons has been submitted. Xabi Alonso sees him as a key piece for the new era.

Man City have responded with a picture of Pep’s bald head.

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

JUST IN🚨: José Mourinho has a SPECIFIC PLAN to get the most out of Franco Mastantuono.

The plan can be summed up by the term “gas chamber”
@noeliadelacalle

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨 BREAKING: José Mourinho arrives at Real Madrid with a blacklist already prepared.

Around 7 first-team players are on it and have been told they’re unlikely to play for Madrid again.

Mourinho has set strict cognitive standards: only players above a 90 IQ level fit his system.

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨 Mbappé on possible PSG return: "Even if PSG wins the Champions League again I WON'T RETURN TO PSG. I have already made friends in el Flori and I'm not willing to give up la 'L' for anything." @KagiReturns

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨Mbappé about the Bernabéu whistles: " I don't care about the criticism, fans aren't inside the dressing room. They don't know how hard is to get to Townhall 13 on Clash of Clans."

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

BREAKING🚨: The incidents of the past few days have changed the club's approach to managing player departures.

Players like Valverde and Carreras are NO LONGER UNTOUCHABLE. In fact, they are very touchable @jfelixdiaz

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

JUST IN🚨: Apparently, Fede Valverde started the altercation with Tchouameni after the latter referred to his wife as “Mina Botieso.”

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨BREAKING: Álvaro Arbeloa is pushing to sign a power-shot forward like Bebé.

His tactical plan, internally referred to as “Schüttenfußball”, is based on lining up with 9 CB's and Bebé in midfield, whose instruction is to shoot every time he touches the ball.
Source: @relevo

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨JUST IN: Vinicius time at Real Madrid is coming to an END!

The player will not renew his contract and the club has decided to accept the offer from Saudi Arabia🇸🇦.

Al Itihad is the most likely destination, where he will form attacking trio with Benzema and a dromedary🐫.

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨🔁 Halftime drama at the Bernabéu
Vinícius OFF after heated words with Chendo in the dressing room.
🇦🇷 Franco Mastantuono ON to start the second half.

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨 Tension at half-time: Real Madrid delegate Chendo CONFRONTED Vinícius over his poor first-half performance. Heated words were exchanged before teammates stepped in to calm the situation.

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨BREAKING: Franco Mastantuono has NOT passed his medical exams.

Real Madrid are considering CANCELLING the signing.

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨Reports indicate several Serie A clubs have inquired about Rodrygo. Inter and Juve are ready to invest around €75M to make him the face of their project and possibly of Serie A itself.

The player’s entourage is open to the move: “If he could make durums, he can make pizzas.”

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨BREAKING: There are NEW developments in the Rodrygo-Tottenham operation.

Spurs have offered €80M to prevent the Brazilian from moving to London.

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨BREAKING: Real Madrid has offered €130m + 20m in add ons for Alexander Isak

The deal could become official in the next hours. DEAL DONE.✅ @FabrizioRomano

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨 BREAKING: Liverpool have submitted an offer of 75M € +20 in adds ons for Rodrygo Goes.

🩺 The player will fly to England tomorrow for medical tests and a to search a cheap kebab. DEAL DONE

[Madrib Xtra @MabribXtra]

🚨NEW: Lamine Yamal has allegedly stolen Vinicius' Spotify.

“What the fuck is this” exclaimed the brazilian winger when listening to Melendi.