Michaela Petro

East coast broad, living in the Midwest. Actor, whiskey drinker, kisser & kicker.

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

m - Why does a person stand in line around the block at an ammo shop during a pandemic??

JHR - Because they have to defend all the toilet paper they bought.
#coronajokes #lockdown

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@mytechrambles You could not be more right. I love this kid. #selflove
#conservationoptimism

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

To all the dudes who need a sleeve on their double-insulated coffee cup in 20-degree Chicago...

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

I have found my spirit animal. #ILoveMagic #IAmAPrimate #HowdHeDoThat

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@krisvire

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@chartom #KillinIt

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

I'm for people taking care of their teeth, especially straightening them if they choose. But can we agree you don't apply your mouth guards on the train? #yourhandsaredirty #isyourvanityworthaninfection

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@JohnEsnrch I'm for it and I've compiled a sensible list.

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

Stan Lee told us they were real. #Superheroes

[Clint Smith @ClintSmithIII]

MEGAN RAPINOE HAS THE ENTIRE MAGA WORLD AFTER HER AND WAS LIKE I DONT CARE ALL OF YALL ARE WACK LEMME GIVE YOU BOTH THIS SAUCE AND THIS POLITICALLY COURAGEOUS COMMENTARY

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@RobGrabo @MarcEvanJackson I was JUST talking about this sketch as being one of my all-time favorite Phil Hartman characters.
I wanna see Terry Crews in the Prose & Cons sketch.

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@JohnEsnrch Also you're eyes are ALWAYS eating. #hungryeyes

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@DwightEganSora Oh boy...

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@RobGrabo

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

Someone just got on my train smelling of breakfast foods. ... If I eat them like they're pancakes & sausage, would any jury convict me? #MoralStruggle #WhatWouldRonSwansonDo

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@DwightEganSora

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@DwightEganSora I must hear this 😊

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@chartom 💚

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

Trump and Pence are winning the fight to block patients from getting necessary care at Planned Parenthood health centers. I just gave to @ppact to help keep these predators out of OUR BODIES. Right now, all gifts are being MATCHED: #IStandWithPP https://t.co/nxLIOtV0AC!

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

To the man who just checked me with his shopping cart in the melee of Sunday afternoon at Mariano's,

Maybe take your newborn baby out of it first?

Oh, and Happy Father's Day.
#fatheroftheyear

[Michaela Petro @MacPeach9]

@JohnEsnrch Ohhhhhh... I get it now!