MC

smirkin and birken ☼

[MC @Macerrss]

It’s time we stop fighting about politics via social media and come together to celebrate a true American win— Taco Bell bringing back potatoes

[Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_]

i would have thrived on america’s next top model i’m literally so good at putting up with abuse

[death angel @angel_0f_deathx]

believing that donald trump and his billionaire friends want the best for you as an average american citizen is like thinking the stripper really likes you

[𝒸𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑜𝓃𝒷𝑜𝓎 @cinnamonnboi]

her biggest enemy being behind her…

[bilatinman kio @kzzrttt]

he’s so close to admitting something super fucking illegal. god please get this man more drugs

[Bizlet @bizlet7]

I think she already did this.

[eliza @elizamclamb]

I miss doing my taxes in high school when I would be like yep I work at a store in the mall:) and then TurboTax would be like incredible here’s a $600 refund to spend on weed and corduroy pants from Goodwill

[Chris Udalla @Cudalla]

Katy Perry spent 11 minutes in space? I spent 9 hours at the mall of america on acid at 18 years old. i’m not saying i’m better than her i’m just saying it’s obvious who the real american hero is.

[aubrey @aubviouslynot]

oh so we did forget

[clare @moethelawn76]

nobody talks ab how when u cut off conservative friends you’re cutting off boat access

[Jen (ESC) 🇨🇦❤️🦋 @Smil3yAngel]

My husband just sent me this. I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[sophia @pastoralcomical]

they shiuld sell a beer with 1 cigarette attached the way a straw is attached to a juice box

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

gwen stefani on a random day in 2004:

[MC @Macerrss]

@realDonaldTrump pls don’t tax my bonus

[‏ً @BALUCIAGA]

mind u peppa pig is 21 years old but has no motion, no degree, no job, no aspirations, no side hustle she’s a leech and a fraud on top of being disrespectful and treats suzie sheep like shit wake it up

[Jesse Marioneaux @jesse_marioneau]

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

[Dump Toucher 69 @MaskTheMovie]

of mice and men is crazy because it’s a book about a friend blowing a friend’s head clean off and you read it with all your friends in 7th grade

[DawZYN @D_SAUC3Y]

"Long live the king" is literally the most un-American thing anyone could ever say.