The Machine

Your source for the realest fake news. Always with love, never with ketchup.

Find us on Facebook and Insta

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Do you like the 'idea' of the news but don't like the news?
Come check out the fake news that tells you it's fake news at The Chicago Machine. Where our motto is
'Satire Taken Seriously'
or something like that

https://t.co/DsIX7FGqjE

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Svedka Trees Sprout in Grant Park From Buried Lolla Alcohol

Full article: https://t.co/8CEzK6Fb9Q

#Chicago #satire #comedy #Lollapalooza #music #alcohol

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

McCaskeys Sheepishly Request that Aaron Rodgers Sell Chicago Bears Back to Them

Full Article: https://t.co/6A7IDKGq2c

#Chicago #satire #comedy #sports #football #bears #Packers

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Marathon Delayed After City Officials See Mass of People Running Downtown, Raise Drawbridges

#Chicago #comedy #satire #ChicagoMarathon #Politics

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Marjorie Taylor Green Curses Antifa After Burning Roof Of Mouth On Italian Beef

#Chicago #comedy #Satire #politics #news #italianbeef

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Increasingly Feverish Earth Concerned It Might Have COVID

Full article: https://t.co/LD5oeG1ryC

#Chicago #Earth #satire #comedy #news #covid #GlobalWarming

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Colectivo Successfully Unionizes Despite Executives Trying To Trap All Workers In Giant Coffee Cup

#Chicago #satire #comedy #coffee #unions #labor

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Summer Smash Attendees Grateful That "New Normal" Still Includes Stampedes of Human Flesh

#Chicago #satire #comedy #covid #music

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Citadel Funds New Organ-Sharing App

Full Article: https://t.co/tdl0Gymreg

#Chicago #satire #comedy #startup #VentureCapital #organsharing

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

"Living in Big City Like Chicago Can Reduce Depression," Says Study That Didn’t Ask Me

Full Article: https://t.co/tS7fEjAZZQ

#Chicago #satire #comedy #hapiness

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Weatherman Upset Suburban Tornado Warning Didn't Put Him on the Map

Full Article: https://t.co/kDX4W8owcN

#Chicago #satire #weather #tornado

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Covid Returns For Second Term

#Chicago #satire #COVID19 #deltavariant

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Cubs Trade Away Your Happiness, Childhood Memories, and Last Thing You Could Talk About with Your Dad

Full article: https://t.co/0NczK7ao3s

#Chicago #Satire #comedy #chicagocubs #Cubs #CubTogether #MLB #sadness

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Corporations Terrified Simone Biles Inspiring People To Actually Use Their Sick Time/PTO

#Chicago #Satire #USAGymnastics #selfcare #mentalhealth #TokyoOlympics2020

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Adler Planetarium Reopens to Remind Lonely Chicagoans They Live in Vast, Uncaring Universe

Full Article: https://t.co/b4IqfK1Ia1

#Chicago #Satire #comedy #space #covid #existentialcrisis

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Immersive Van Gogh Exhibit to be Replaced with Immersive Ms. Taylor’s 2nd Grade Art Class Exhibit

Full article: https://t.co/9L2WcTHf0m

#Chicago #satire #art #vangogh #teachers #artsandcrafts

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Covid Spike in Ozarks Ruins Travel Plans for Tens of Chicagoans

#Chicago #Satire #ozarks #COVID19 #Missouri #Travel #TravelRestrictions

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Chicago Wage Hike Incites Splurge On Rent, Utilities

#Chicago #satire #Illinois #minimumwage

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

More Bad News After Grandal Injury: White Sox Reveal Tim Anderson Does Not Exist

Full Article: https://t.co/nhIWZl2tgL

#Chicago #satire #MLB #BaseBall #WhiteSox

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Logan Square Woman Finds Text Therapy Optimal for Ghosting Therapist

Full article: https://t.co/chYp5s9fxw

#Chicago #satire #therapy #betterhelp #ghosting

[The Machine @MachineChicago]

Frustrated JB Shouts, “Get the Fudging Vaccine Already!”

Full Article: https://t.co/nvuQPBzxkn

#Chicago #satire #Illinois #Politics #vaccine #COVID19 #CovidVaccine #fudge #GetVaccinated