oops i wet my plants

I just really love plants okay 😭 •plant enthusiast🌱 •drinks way too much coffee☕️ •certified dumpster fire🔥 •sometimes, I'm funny

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

@DavidSpade I still have beef with you from the 90s when you ruined the sixth sense on SNL. I think about that at least once a week.

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

I used to be young and peer pressured to drink and do drugs.

Now I’m old and feel peer pressured to mow my yard, because my neighbor mowed theirs, and now my grass looks long.

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

It’s wild to see people who claim to be Christians cheering for harming the poor, the stranger, taking food from children, co-signing a genocide, taking housing and medical care from our most vulnerable.

Y’all need to get right with God.

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

This week I unpacked my late father’s glassware collection. I was not prepared for how it would rip my heart out all over again. I put them in the same color gradient order that he did. Aren’t they beautiful 😭 #grief #vintageglass

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

Accidentally got this plant on my way to work

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

The Whole Rabbit - I enjoyed every one of the 15,614 minutes I spent with you in 2023. Thank you. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/PKNIlSH6mL

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

@joncoopertweets Absolutely not ever in a million years would I give him anything

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

@TheBertShow Her name is Weeloo. She’s 6. She likes long flies to the ceiling, biting unsuspecting people, and judging passersby from the window.

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

@TheBertShow we heard Romeo doesn’t like little green birds and we are judging him hard

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

My plant light died today. I ordered one from Amazon for 20 bucks and it’ll be here tomorrow. What a time to be alive.

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

@meganamegra Ooooooof I love this

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

Fuck nudes. Let me see the rare and high maintenance plants you’ve managed to keep alive.

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

My son had a hip replacement today. It went well. He’s doing well.

When he woke up, they took his dad and I back, we walk in, he says:

“What’s up, losers”

And then, we knew he was really okay lol

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

Thanks Bumpin Uglies for spending 3,426 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to Bad Decisions. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/bFk2E22Kq1

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

Nothing quite says Indiana like seeing two cows doing it in a field on your way to work, and then driving home in a snowstorm in the afternoon, and as you pass the barn that says “Jesus Saves”, a horse and buggy pulls out in front of you

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

Who else is re-listening to #serial now? #AdnanSyed

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

She’s a ten but she sounds like a car alarm when she laughs

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

I may not be the brightest candle on the cake. You can still blow me though 😘

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

Ice Cube was right. You can do it if you put your back into it.

[oops i wet my plants @MadPlantLady]

“I suffered through (insert experience here), so other people should suffer too” - way too fucking many of you #ihatepeople #peopleareawful