The G

There's a glitch in the simulation

[The G @MadeInBongo]

93% of my tweets are fiction.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

“Nobody is forcing you to work at that job you hate.”

I think you’ll find the threat of starvation and homelessness is fairly coercive.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

���I just wanted to hear your voice, that’s why I called.”

Bring back real chemistry and real lovers.

[Drebae @Drebae_]

Dating was more fun when I was stupid 😭😭 Now I got standards and everybody irritating.

[🦋 fairy 🧚‍♂️ @thisdecfairy]

“what if it’s a girl?”

my man and his friends:

[ඞ @lifeinchaos_]

You know people don’t like to admit this but older cartoons they grew up with were woke and discussed social issues like this and were very on the nose about it

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Pre internet I once drove half an hour home to get a dictionary to prove to my work colleague that the word gullible was in the dictionary. I was literally 2 mins away, on the way back, when it dawned on me.

[#makeke @Dreadlockd_Diva]

There's a lady in my street who when I greet her is either very nice and chatty, asking after the kids and calling me by name; or is polite and a little bit confused lol. It's always bothered me. Today I saw the 2 of them at their gate. They are twins 🤣🤣🤣.

[slay @nemesis09066]

Me, when I use dark humour on the wrong person, now I'm getting lecture on human rights, racism and mental health💔

[Eric @amerix]

Most people are so broke that they don't know how much KSH 1 BILLION is.

Do you people know what KSH 1 BILLION is?

With 1 BILLION:

You spend 100,000 DAILY for 27 YEARS and FIVE MONTHS.

Why, then, do you accept it as normal when politicians steal 600 billion?

[toxic king @toxicking]

Please take care of yourself, we got a lot of dumb bitches going into nursing

[MfinaWiiiseeee @mfinanga_rm]

Kuna mzee ametoa ushauri TRA wafungue duka la mfano!

[Ifediche @esther_stan]

I’ll forever clap for Regina Daniels. Pa Ned wanted to manipulate her with their kids. she left them with him and fled.

[Oluwatimileyin✨🦋 @Timmysofine]

I want a job where I can clock in, be given a list of tasks, and left alone for 8 hours.

[muna. @_meraam]

ending on bad terms saves you from romanticizing what you had lol

[Maryam @hell_line0]

I love how they found a way to use a blood test for men’s prostate cancer, but I still have to get my titties slammed in a press and my cervix scraped with a brush...

[Nompumelelo MK @MissLELOMK1]

Yhoo 🙆‍♀️ I can’t wait till these kids go back to school🤦🏽‍♂️😂

[Wanjiru wa Ndooro @Gaddafess]

Let's talk about PEAK adulting. I'll go first...
My Dad died today, as I was holding his hand.
Tomorrow Jessy (my 2nd) is closing school and has a presentation I cannot afford to miss.
Tomorrow is also Jolene's (my last born) birthday, she knows.

What's your peak adulting momt?

[Marquez @NewYorkMinute__]

There’s people climbing up Empire State buildings to propose and you’re still putting up with confused people in 2026

[Ruffrasta official @Ruffrasta1]

This is your ambulances, hospitals, pipe borne water, electricity and good roads joined together in one person’s home.

[Brooda John @Nigeriangod_]

The way married guys in their 20s/30s cheat is too reckless , did anyone forced y’all to get married?, some are barely few months into their marriage and they’re already out there philandering.
The urge to be adventurous , it can be quite intoxicating unfortunately it peaks when they get married and most don’t have self control over it..