Maaaadison Eve

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

How do people still fuck up “women” and “woman” in a sentence???

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

I wanna punch every single person that says “gosh” at the end of “oh my”

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

My adorable gram has always said to me “there’s plenty of fish in the sea, sweet pea”. Ya? Well you know what else there is? Trash, gram. There is a lot of trash in the sea.

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

@jaardiiiin Ahahahahaha #prude 👵🏼

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

1/2 pump of hazelnut in my latte Susan, it isn’t rocket science

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

Why does everything taste like absolute shit when you’re hungover 😭

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

FU to all those who picked up a god damn dumbbell for 2 seconds and are now calling yourselves trainers-but also thank you bc your clients are coming to me to undo the damage that you’ve done. But also FU.

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

Real adulting is caving into your 5 year long resfusal to buy a winter jacket. Watch it’ll be spring tomorrow 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

When your mom sees your Snapchat videos and texts you saying you are getting stupid drunk.

Moms. We don’t deserve them 🥂

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

@jaardiiiin shall we do this 10 year challenge thing orrrr 😂

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

HAHA throwback? Waaaay back, old vines make me laugh @jordintrueman https://t.co/p8UBnW0ruA

[UBCOProblems @UBCOProblems]

These tiny ass bugs around campus can fuck off

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

"Give them a world where they inherited nothing but a very real understanding of what oppression really fucking is" PREACH

[J•🌚• @jaardiiiin]

@SeaWorld wish they could use their tusks to escape you guys though

[J•🌚• @jaardiiiin]

Someone: "Ew I don't drink coffee" Me: "uhhh r u ok?"

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

Why pay $100 on a thong bathing suit when you might as well just wear your actual thong #preferablydontweareithertho

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

The special sirens tht go off when the president is comin through town is the sound our ambulances from back home make lol #killsmeeverytime

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

My African host mom just said she won't let me go back home till I have a fat ass & I don't know if I should laugh or give her a high five.

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

@jaardiiiin buut whyyyyy get that shit when you could get like 5 more tequila shots instead #thatsarealparty #fckthoseballoons

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

@jaardiiiin Hahaha omg yes

[Maaaadison Eve @MadiT16]

Balloons shaped as numbers #shitidontlike