Matt Heiligenthaler

Buffalo sports, table games, Oxford commas, and bingeing.

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@UtdMaI Explain to me how they did not lose a single match and only finished 2nd!!

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@tzuianalyse How the fuck would any 1-1 score look any different than all other 1-1 score.

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@MoggedByTatum I can guess the headers for first two columns, but what is the third?

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@BENBALLER A snicklefritz face can't carry a Knickelback shirt

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@ITARviolation What about when they turn 40?

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@ijimaia best move against nerd billionaires is to become ungovernable and plead fifth.

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

Idk how you'd spell any of this, but the growing din of disbelief from the eyewitnesses we can't see is the perfect onomatopoeia for going viral.

[O’Shea Jackson Jr @OsheaJacksonJr]

I saw it. Now you have to see it. His name is Samuel. And he…is a king.

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@Djoko_UTD You should see me play beer pong

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@Yfz84

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@PokerJermz this millennium

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@GinoHard_ I'd like to record a dispute

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@DGDtheSequel Criteria being what because this a whack ass list

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@MercuriusFilius 192, 021 assuming leading zero counts as a digit

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@OfficialTourPro When you have a lifelong commitment to being unimpressed, but ball don't lie.

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@animalologist "this girl" seems serious -- do they trade voices too? what size this girl feet?

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@PabloTorre So like how learn lesson dumb Marc

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@Matt_Pinner Italic L, 9

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@BretWeinstein Dude acting like DJT was quite obviously evil and unashamed by it for at least 30 years before he asked for the first vote

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@BretWeinstein Bret has low t, half the amount of a normal man with his name.

[Matt Heiligenthaler @MaffuHeil]

@yishan I read this and now I'm dumber and it gave me long covid and even though you're not a superspreader you should stop exposing yourself and others to this shit.