MagPipes

Aspiring writer and editor. I think I’m funny.

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

Vibrator ad directed to straight men: “If you can’t make your own, store bought is fine” #dating

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

Do trick or treaters prefer indica or sativa gummies? Probably sativa, right? #Halloween #WeedLovers

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

At least he doesn’t use the same line on every girl. THAT would be embarrassing. #adamlevinedms

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

@DiscussingFilm @RexChapman but why

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

If I text you 🏖 it means let’s go to the beach-each. Let’s go get away.

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

Heyyyy (with the intention of getting high together)

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

@Coach_Kap

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

Negging doesn’t work on me. I’ll agree, pile on, and ruin both our nights.

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

Those “Don’t abort, we’ll adopt” posts are meant to be threats, right? #RoeVWade

[Lolo ❁ @lilleanmami]

break up with ur anti-abortion boyfriends today ladies 🫶🏻

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

He’s a 5 but he respects my right to choose 😍

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

He’s a 10 but he doesn’t smoke weed 💔

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

Really looking forward to seeing what Tig Notaro does as Barry Allen

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

I like fashion right now because it’s either dress like you’re infiltrating a nursing home or like you’re planning to get railed backstage at Coachella

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

“We want grandkids”
Best I can do is get really high and fall asleep on the couch

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

@RealAdamRose

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

I have never felt the inclination to click the “Surprise Me” button on #Netflix and I honestly don’t believe anyone else has either

[MagPipes @MagPipes_1]

This is perfect for all the times I had the problem of my hard boiled eggs not being shaped like dinosaur skulls. So annoying.

[… @lurkmenistan69]

hot take: drugs are actually really good for you. like they make your brain feel good which equals mental health which equals self-care

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

it’s-a-me, depression