Magnus Carlsen (Parody)

5-Time World Chess Champion and undisputed greatest player of all time. Classical Chess Sucks. Parody Account.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

@GothamChess If elected Prime Minister of Norway I will abolish the London System.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

You know who I am

[Hans Niemann @HansMokeNiemann]

If you want to join the chess revolution DM me your resume, the powers at be are becoming a bit too comfortable.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

This is completely false as I’m 100% above the game as shown this week. The top player gets top priorities.

[Hans Niemann @HansMokeNiemann]

No player is above the game. FIDE’s decision will define chess’s future. I hope they choose the right side of history.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

FIDE and I have made this very clear Hans. All players are created equal, but some of us are more important than others.

[Hans Niemann @HansMokeNiemann]

You broke the rules on camera, you only thought they would agree to your proposal because you dropped out of the blitz and made ridiculous demands. FIDE will hopefully take a stand and remind us all that no player is above the game. They failed to hold you accountable when you tried to ruin my life, I hope they’ve learned their lesson.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

If you have any objections, I literally am the law. Whatever I decide the rules are is what we enforce.

[Magnus Carlsen @MagnusCarlsen]

I’ve never prearranged a draw in my career. In the video I’m joking with Ian in a situation with lacking decisive tiebreak rules. This was obviously not an attempt to influence FIDE. It was said in the spirit that I thought FIDE would agree to our proposal. If anything it was a bad joke given the gravity of the situation.

I think the match itself showed two players playing high level chess, equally matched and both deserving of a win.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

To celebrate the New Year, let’s look back on all the firsts that happened in 2024:

1. Gukesh became the first Indian World Champion

2. Hikaru was the first streamer to cross 2800 Rating

3. I became the first World Champion to be disqualified for fashion

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

I understand that many people have criticized my decision to split the World Blitz Championship, and rightfully so. To be fair and consistent, I will also be splitting one Classical Championship each with @lachesisq and @HansMokeNiemann to help them achieve their goals.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

The people’s World Championships

[Yann Toskov @yannToskov]

@GMHikaru I have a better idea actually!

This outfit…

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

Sorry, did I miss anything?

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

You guys are the real heroes @chesscom

[Magnus Carlsen @MagnusCarlsen]

I show some speed

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

@3YearLetterman The SEC is literally a stock market entity and doesn’t have “fans”. And it’s based in New York, not Tennessee.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

I am inevitable. @AlirezaFirouzja

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

Hopefully they can learn a thing or two from my commentary

[Chess.com @chesscom]

We really have Magnus commentating on Hikaru vs. Hans. I love this game.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

Congratulations to Hans Niemann on a well-fought participation trophy.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

LeMagnus CarlGOAT

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

@MagnusCarlsen LeGoat

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

I approve this message.

[Chess.com @chesscom]

🥴 @MagnusCarlsen

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

@MagnusCarlsen This is why I don’t play classical

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

@MagnusCarlsen Win at all costs, even if it means using Stockfish to do so

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

@MagnusCarlsen 4/2 Sit at the chessboard and play with yourself.

[Magnus Carlsen (Parody) @MagnusBurner]

As the undisputed GOAT, I bow to nobody.

[Magnus Carlsen @MagnusCarlsen]

1/2 I would like insincerely apologize to the @NYMag writer who had her feelings hurt.

She presented a lot of misleading and/or erroneous claims, the most egregious of which was that I accused the photographer, Lennart Ootes of aiding with cheating