magoo

[magoo @MaguireCardinal]

Rt if people ask you on the daily how lesbian sex works

[clarevoyant @kneeyockartee]

Told my textuationship I’m thinking about doing a masters to become a librarian

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

why tf does garlic have to wear so many little jackets

[Internet Slop @GimmickSlop]

why is Alexander graham bell calling me 😭?

[swinky @swinkying]

(canadian pirate) shiver me timbits

[trin @glooomiii]

no babe i love how 30 you are

[✧ @aesttics]

everything shower

[𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐧• @Be_like_calvin2]

High as fuck reading the dictionary can't wait for our next argument bitch.

[Parker💧 @ParkerOlad]

Gossiping with your grandma is a diffrent kind of tea

[magoo @MaguireCardinal]

My roommate put ranch on his Kraft dinner and called it pasta primavera

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't like random strangers coming to their door.

[m @skitzocat]

the elephant in the room is claustrophobic

[magoo @MaguireCardinal]

24 year olds

[Eva. @Bunny_ngl]

What is something attractive at 18 but embarrassing at 30?

[mau @rllydu]

she may be crazy but she knows everything. my little enpsychopedia

[mollie writes stuff @vuse_lover]

Soft launching that I want to get off the phone by saying “Alright well…”

[∀ @PeakPiece31]

I am living adderall to adderall

[rio @dior333rio]

why are you 30 and pissing me off

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

Respectfully, I don't think cooking together is romantic. Please move tf out of my way. One person cooks, the other sits at the counter and drinks wine and says things like "that smells so good" or "I love the things you cook."

[🏳️‍🌈Mar G-O 🌐🇺🇦 @MariGO2thepolls]

Party ideas. Each guest is tasked with bringing the most controversial person they know as a plus one

[mariana Z @mariana057]

What’s the problem with meeting twin witches?

You never know which witch is which.