maggie pahl

minnesota

[Tyler Roney @TylerJRoney]

Eminem: “Snap back to reality”

Everybody: “Oh, there goes gravity”

Midwesterners: “Ope, there goes gravity”

[𝐉𝐨𝐞 @jxemicucci]

pee after sex or else you’ll get another U2 album automatically added to your phone.

[kitsch bitch @crybabynicole]

me: I need to watch my spending

me 20 minutes later, drinking a $6 latte: so I’m gonna order in tonight does anyone else want food? I will pay for you because I love you

[maggie pahl @MagzPahl4]

@Donny_Dollar101 Hi right here 👋👋

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

if I flirt with you i’m either bored and it means nothing or I want to have your children and good luck figuring out which

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

boomers paying their bill: you only had bud on tap not but light so you get 9% and I am going to spit in your face as I leave. good day

millennials paying their bill: this beer? incredible. you? incredible. I'm tipping you 30%. this is my last $20 but I want you to have it

[Rich Brian @richbrian]

remember to smile today u bitch

[whotfiskai! @krstultz22]

good morning, i went to chick-fil-a for breakfast and my total came out to $6.66 so the cashier changed it to 6.26 and gave me a large lemonade for free. the devil works hard but damn do chick-fil-a employees work harder

[maggie pahl @MagzPahl4]

“we should take a trip there” yeah well we should take a trip to a lot of places but we’re all still broke college students

[maggie pahl @MagzPahl4]

@kELLiSOL always #winewednesday

[るみ避難 @sidroseb]

Did you know... you can go to the gym and not post it on social media!?