Mahala Schmitz

get woke.

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

Listen I’m excited for the new @DearEvanHansen movie, but one has to ask oneself, at what point are we going to accept that @BenSPLATT is not in high school?? Surely, The man can eventually be cast as an adult??????

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

Honestly if your sense of style doesn’t revolve around making you feel like a YA protagonist wyd?

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

Bruh why are millennials suddenly so pressed about if we think they’re cool or not? We probably don’t! And that’s okay! We also don’t think you’re cooler for having a middle part and loose pants if you’re trying that hard!

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

My love language is sending somebody memes from across the same room while making eye contact.

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

Now Christmas is over and before the new year and semester start,,,,,,,
Welcome to the ✨undefined✨ space separated from time.
Time is not real here. Only leftovers and cold.

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

Due to personal reasons I will no longer be processing the passage of time. The vibes continue, the timeline does not.

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

@glitternoot A meme I think

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

Y’all ever woken up on a Tuesday morning and realized that instead of emotionally processing the night before you texted Tony Hawk?

seriously if you have somethin u want me to tell him LMK.
(No replies yet but we’re trying)

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

@hankgreen It’s almost midnight but lunch would be nice I guess

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

@hankgreen YES

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

@Jakabob247 Tell me about it.

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

Can’t bring myself to get my head around either voting, or not voting in November. So I’m planning on entering the void it’s been a nice ride.

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

I’m doing excellent so far.

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

By age 30 you should have:

- Mental anguish
- A thirst for revenge
- A claim to the throne of Denmark
- An uncle who is also your stepfather
- A court jester's skull that symbolizes the inevitability of death and decay

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

Idk who needs to hear this... but saying the R-word has literally never been okay. Not ok as a joke, not ok as an insult. This is not a new revelation. It wasn’t okay when mean kids said it, it wasn’t okay when people you like and respect said it; literally not one time.

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

Getting drunk and eating edamame when...

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

@JonahMasson Did you read the whole bit about high risk and makes me feel alive? It’s the little things man.

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

I like to play a little game called painting while keeping my coffee cup next to my solvent. High risk, makes me feel alive. Every moment I don’t poison myself or put paint in my coffee is a gift.

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

@Jakabob247 Yeah man twitter just doesn’t get me

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

I got a Twitter bc I thought the internet would benefit from my humor... I have found 0 funny things to tweet. I am a cyber comedic failure.

[Mahala Schmitz @MahalaSchmitz]

@TessaViolet please let me design a jacket for you I would actually die. I did both of these!!