Parker Main

wacky

[Parker Main @MainParker]

My tweets are a trail of moldy breadcrumbs

[Parker Main @MainParker]

They never should of made pick up trucks be able to go over 70mph

[Parker Main @MainParker]

The worst part about not being a professional athlete is normal jobs don’t do Gatorade showers when you do a good job

[Parker Main @MainParker]

So you’re telling me my phone has enough service to load the ads in Jetpack joyride but not enough to send and receive texts?

[Parker Main @MainParker]

No soap radio 😂

[Parker Main @MainParker]

What’s up with dried grapes being raisins? It’s the only dry fruit that’s a different food all together

[Parker Main @MainParker]

How reliable is the subway/ metro in New London?? I have a short commute uptown

[Parker Main @MainParker]

Nobody talks about literature anymore

[Parker Main @MainParker]

McDonald’s using Mahler 2 Mvt 5 is unreal for me

[Parker Main @MainParker]

Where ever elite endurance meets skiing, a Norwegian will be there

[Parker Main @MainParker]

Norway thanks god everyday that Kenya dosnt have ski resorts

[Parker Main @MainParker]

I love it when the moon rises and it’s so big and bright that it looks like a high school play backdrop

[Parker Main @MainParker]

I want there to be a rock skipping competition at my funeral

[Parker Main @MainParker]

Controversial opinion but I believe gas is too cheap

[Parker Main @MainParker]

I think I was told “good question” too many times as a kid

[Parker Main @MainParker]

Skiing alone is really cool cause you get to have the same conversation with a random middle age guy 12 different times

[Parker Main @MainParker]

Gonna go to the store for a few items I can stash in my fridge for my grand children to discover in 60 years

[Parker Main @MainParker]

If anybody ever finds this jacket for sale contact me immediately. I’ve spent months searching for it

[Parker Main @MainParker]

Everybody getting psychology degrees. Is anybody getting reverse psychology degrees?

[Parker Main @MainParker]

Had a dream last night Richard Wagner won the 1998 dunk contest and everyone complained it was rigged for tall players to win

[Parker Main @MainParker]

If I had a genie with 3 wishes I’d wish for half a sandwich 3 times