Stretch 🇺🇦

“Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV” - Morty

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@CaitlinFoord You have us.

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

The irony of being an X-Twitter user.

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@IanWright0 @AFL @Richmond_FC @Australia How do you spend all that time with a @HawthornFC legend and come away with a Tigers scarf?

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@LucyZelic It’s only $6.99/$24.99 for ONE month. OPTUS coverage has been great. Worth paying for.

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@EricIdle

[Sam Djodan @samdjodan]

Thought we had seen this before. Jonny Bairstow attempting to catch Marnus Labuschagne stepping out of his crease two days ago. #Ashes @wwos @9NewsAUS

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@ChampionsLeague This champ.

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@EricIdle The Eagles

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@_jaxtaposition Did you film the wall of death?

[Daily Cannon is on Bluesky @DailyCannon]

The 'power shift' in North London from Arsenal to Spurs has now ended after 7 years. In that time, Spurs won 0 trophies. Arsenal won 4.

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@DrCameronMurray Wait’ll they hear about capital gains tax.

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@JohnCleese August 11th Nuke-Arsehole.

There. Fixed it for you.

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

Just watched the old(er) #Bluey episode of ‘Granny Mobile’ where Bandit is fat-shamed and has a moment of self doubt. Where was your righteous indignation then?

[Arsenal Women @ArsenalWFC]

Same fixture. 10 years difference.

🗓️ 2013: 1,406
❤️ 2023: 60,063

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@JoJoFromJerz So much I love and respect about America. But this shit makes me sick to my stomach.

[Premier League @premierleague]

Premier League clubs have today collectively agreed to withdraw gambling sponsorship from the front of clubs’ matchday shirts, becoming the first sports league in the UK to take such a measure voluntarily in order to reduce gambling advertising

➡️ https://t.co/FG6V7sJcds

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

First game I’ve seen that was over at 1/8th time. #Crows #Blues

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

Oi @PaoloNutini , we gave you @AngePostecoglou! Where’s our standalone Melbourne show?

[now.arsenal @now_arsenaI]

Arsenal become the first team in Premier League history to win five London derbies away from home in a row without conceding…

1️⃣ Crystal Palace 0-2 Arsenal
2️⃣ Brentford 0-3 Arsenal
3️⃣ Chelsea 0-1 Arsenal
4️⃣ Spurs 0-2 Arsenal
5️⃣ Fulham 0-3 Arsenal

11 goals scored, 0 goals conceded & 15/15 points collected away in the capital.

It’s outstanding stuff from this special team.

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

@Hakz7 @JohnCena @jimmycarr Two nights ago.

[Stretch 🇺🇦 @MajorCoronary]

Saw @JohnCena at a @jimmycarr gig this week. Hard to miss him. When Jimmy asked if there were any Americans present, 2,000 bodies audibly swiveled to stare at the big guy.