Mallory Brayman

I'm a lot of things, but I am never concerned with what I'm not.

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

@1ssamel @AXS_UK I'm having this issue too let me know if it ends up working for you

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

@EmilyBrayman I feel like I’m waiting to hear back from a job how much I’ve refreshed my email today

[Long Beach Convention & Entertainment Center @longbeachcec]

This November, the hilarious @JoKoy is coming to Long Beach! Get your presale tickets today, April 7 from 10AM-10PM with code: COMEDY

Tickets available here: https://t.co/g8xf25rA40

#jokoy #comedy #lbconventionctr #visitlb

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

I'm currently at the stage of life where the sponsorship opportunity I am looking for is for Everlasting Comfort. I tell everyone I know about the wonders these cushions do for your butt. About to deck my office out in cushions. Tell your friends

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

On a scale of 1-10 how much will I piss my coworkers off when I play emo music at top volume and scream along? Maybe then they'll send me back to working from home.

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

I wonder how much of my life is spent yelling representative into my phone.

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

Every once in a while I get notifications that my voicemail is 90% full but I can't seem to delete old messages dating back to 2013. It's like time traveling listening to a piece of my past. There's a lot of people I miss and I'll probably never reach out but I hope you are well

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

My absolute favorite LA dating app job description is Bartender at Actor

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

At age will I stop sending chaotic messages and throwing my phone across the room? Thank God for my fortress of a phone case

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

I’ve recently discovered that I’m at the age where I have to wonder if the guys on dating apps are bald or just like wearing hats.

[Nati Ⓥ (they/them) @TheZombiUnicorn]

Wtf was that!?! Blue light just lit up the sky in Hollywood?

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

#ItsMillerTime 🍻 cheers to this awesome engineer I get to call my brother @MillerLite

[realneil18 @neilbrayman]

Hey Google, toss me a cold one

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

New day of quarantine whose DM’s will I slide into next? Am I the only one using this as an excuse to hit up potential interests? They’ll never be this bored gotta shoot your shot when the basket is open 🤷‍♀️

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

I hate when Uber/lyft drivers play no music. I’m down for not talking but are we really going to sit in complete silence for the next 30 minutes. In this scenario do you ask them to turn on the radio?

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

When your brother gets all the talent in the family 🙌

[realneil18 @neilbrayman]

Rambutan

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

I wonder what it says about my emotional stability right now that I can’t stop crying while watching @MASTERCHEFonFOX

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

Packing an empty suitcase to Atlanta so I can wear my sisters clothes and take back her hand me downs. Oh how the tables have turned. 13 year old Mallory would be throwing a fit over having to wear her clothes.

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

@DevoutStyles I’m super interested in buying!!

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

@lexysheep I’m super interested in buying please let me know if you decide to sell!

[Mallory Brayman @MalloryMayday]

I'm at this new level of single where instead of drunk texting I slide into the DM's of D-list celebrities on Instagram and shamelessly hit on them