Deb Barker

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

@JohnMartinComic You are not too old John but I have to say the best thing I ever did was retire . However if you retire who would keep is entertained on the ships xx

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

@snellyradio Happy Anniversary

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

@snellyradio Loved the colours of these lights

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

@snellyradio Sorry for your loss Tony.

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

@MikeDoyleComedy Hope you continue to get better

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

@snellyradio Belated Happy Birthday

[karen thompson @karenfthompson]

Right then here goes... ANNUAL RANT ALERT!!
Triggered by adverts and TV chefs😠😠
Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!!
We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un!
Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over it’s cooked!
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!!
If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉.
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....
Gravy granules Jamie.... All you need is gravy granules!
I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠
4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉.
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally.....
NO ONE....
And I mean no one
APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET PISSED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over 😂

Merry feckin Christmas!

[Tansu Yegen @TansuYegen]

A man who wonders how his dog will react in emergency situations encounters an unexpected end😂

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

This lady’s excavator skills are next level
https://t.co/klHC7fmjGA

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

His mother could not convince his to go to school, but his older sister gently persuaded his. 😂

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

This 1974 Volkswagen Beetle has a trailer add-on that provides a small living space that can attach to the vehicle.

Bonus: it has a maneuverability of 360° and a good aerodynamics.

[📹 Dave Ford]

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

@HazelAppleyard_ Even more worrying is the fact they haven’t let the child eat their sandwiches, they must have been starving when they got home.

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

SuccessfulSunday #LastLegMedalHaul

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

@TheLastLeg Successful Sunday

[Deb Barker @MamaDebsB]

@Rainmaker1973 @PaulGarthwaite2

[The Instigator @Am_Blujay]

Bro was like hold on let me show you how to do this...

[Lisa @lisareality1]

I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:
"Hello, how are you today?"
"I'm very well thank you for asking, how are you and more to the point, WHO are you?"
"Madam, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft.”
"Microsoft, is that a city in Pakistan?”
" No Madam, MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer.”
"REALLY, that's quite concerning.”
"Yes Madam, it can become very serious indeed but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you.”
"No, I meant it's very concerning because I don't HAVE a computer.”
“You don't?"
“No.”
"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop Madam.”
"Don't have one.”
"Ipad?"
"Nope.”
"Tablet?"
"I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone.”
After a few seconds of silence he said "Madam, you are lying to me now!"
I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.