Amanda L Melby

The most magical place on earth

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

@ROPOCALYPSE I publicly acknowledge you to be the superior fantasy footballer…this year.

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

@PeterMelby Time to rebrand Boss or Babysitter? My vote is Supervisor or Stalker. “Bosses are using surveillance tools to spy on quiet quitters” by @WSJ
https://t.co/tgpghz0W14

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

Happiness with @PeterMelby at @lucky_joes #coffeebomb

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

@VansHelp I’ve been trying to buy 2 pairs of shoes (over $75) with a promo code I received from a past order for 2 days. The order won’t go through with the promo code. I’ve talked to 2 people on the chat and tried to call to order but the wait time is 70 minutes.

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

Dear @VANS_66 your "New Blazing Classics" design is super offensive to anyone who lives near (or worse, lost everything from) frequent wildfires.

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

I just tried to turn on our Wi-Fi lights by clapping twice. If you don't know what The Clapper is (was?), we can't be friends anymore.

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

@PeterMelby I admit that I don't look super happy, but this was like, the 8th try looking into the freaking sun.

[Peter Melby @PeterMelby]

"fuck you, tattoo guy, for saying we wouldn't make it" -@MandaMelby #HappyAnniversary

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

You guys, I get to be 45 today! I LOVE birthdays and am always thankful when mine comes around. https://t.co/aYzzrBzpo0

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

@PeterMelby Don't worry, it's just a not-young-person misunderstanding young-person things...

That's it, that's the account.

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

"I wish I had the balls to buy a bag of dicks." I'm a lady!

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

@Peculiar Thank you for putting these characters into the world, more specifically into my world. I never thought I could love people that only exist in pages (and my imagination) so much.

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

YES!!! Book delivery days are the best days. #ShopLocal book nerds!
@im_yoder

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

Covid brought out a new level of honesty and authenticity in our home.

For example, I just screamed "THIS FALLS DIRECTLY UNDER: SHIT I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SAY ANYMORE!"

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

While the dad's away...mom watches #GodzillaVsKong with E while the ladies have a private showing of Ella Enchanted.
Fact: Filled Twizzlers pair nicely with sparking rosé.
Missing @PeterMelby

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

"2 things melt in the rain: sugar and shit, and you sure as shit ain't made of sugar, honey." - my dad, when I didn't want to walk home in the rain.

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

My phone just autocorrected "damn" to "dang". Happy Easter? Duck you, phone. Duckity, duck, duck, duck.

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

Nora (7) going through the months of the year trying to figure out the cat's birthday: "is it like, June July or Pikachu?" #publicschool

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

Came across this little gem: It's so cool that this "Christian" can use ancient mythology to bolster the church's ever present misogyny. Girls in ancient Greece were married off at 12-15 and given as property. Fuck off, asshole.

[Amanda L Melby @MandaMelby]

"You guys need to shower, and can you PLEASE wash this time?" - a dumb mom thing I say