Amanda Jean

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

My inner hype man is a 22 year old valley girl

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Cooking competitions are so weird like I don’t just wanna watch you make food, but I wanna watch you do it fast and stressfully

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

We should talk about fondue more

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Cootie catchers for people in their 30’s but instead of who they’re gunna marry it’s why their body hurts

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

You’ve been reading little women if you refer to yourself as a “lovely chef” and you are “mighty proud” of it

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Normalize writing books without a slow beginning

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Why are Amber Heard’s lawyers Elle Woods but in an endless loop of before she caught on to Chutney

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Peacocks are cool and all, but I hate them

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

The problem with April Fool’s Day is that too many people are like Winston

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

What we’re really learning from the intuition challenge is all the different ways you can hold up three fingers

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

You know who is worth their wages? Spam Risk. They put in the work.

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

They really should put warnings on movies like “hey this is about a dad who dies” so that I can enjoy my life in peace

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

I always think I have pretty good self control until I open a pint of ice cream

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

This state of the union address feels like a Greek Orthodox Church service with all this standing and sitting

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

A math problem I need to solve

Our thermostat says it’s 76° and I lower it to 75°. Then the ac runs until it’s actually 67° though the thermostat says it’s 77°. So how many dollars will it take to fix the problem?

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Turns out when I’m getting stir crazy I turn into Joanna Gaines. So far today I’ve gardened, baked, cleaned, and thought about how to decorate my house.

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Lorelei and Rory don’t say “I love you” when they end a convo and it weighs heavy on me

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

I’m about to donate blood and all I can think about is the puppet kid from Victorious #ifykyk 😨😳🙃

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Me trying to find a non-dairy creamer that tastes good:

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Just watched Encanto… doorknob #ifykyk 😭😍

[Amanda Jean @MandersJean]

Parenting is letting your kid make a mess so you can clean up a different mess over and over until bedtime