Mandy Wanzz

Secret hoarder of #wine corks. Failed #yogi. Bibliophile. Lover of life and #cake. Worshipper of all things with #bacon & #cheese

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

How to be humbled: Realize the reason WHY you find someone so annoying is that they currently possess so many of the mannerisms you have fought so hard to refine and suppress. It’s like looking in a damn mirror 15 years ago.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

I told my husband #InternationalWomensDay was this week.
He asked me how I wanted to be worshiped.
I have chosen wisely.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

Thank you @evanescence for spending 291 minutes with me this year on @Spotify. You are my #1. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/pEUSxSlHpe

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

@Tinder just announced it will be adding a 15 sec video option to profiles because there isn’t enough porn out there right now.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

If you choose to have a vanity plate on your car, you should also be required to have a sign explaining what the @&$* it means. New Hampshire people, I’m looking at you.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

@Whoreginho @POTUS @NyeJones3 👋🏻 bye!!

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

@uhmini @POTUS Bye

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

@MsAmandaJane Soooo, all I can see his the eggplant emoji in this and it’s making me laugh. I’m sure this was not meant to be a dirty joke but well played girl. You just make me laugh. I needed that.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

People who add hot water to their coffee should not be allowed....well, they just shouldn’t.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

@MCerenz Yes!!! On good sourdough. It’s my late night snack crave!!

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

@SuperDuperShua @chrissyteigen Sooooo, don’t watch. There is an unfollow button. People can use it.

[Cheri @cherixberi]

@kimi0309 @chrissyteigen Where tf was this parade??? There's an unfollow and a mute button here on Twitter. For the love of God and sanity of yourself and everyone around you, learn to use it.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

@cherixberi @kimi0309 @chrissyteigen This should be the response to every single idiot who posts mean shit. I LOVE this!!!

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

Wearing your face mask 2 days in a row is the new going to bed with your makeup on. Gross, but shit happens.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

I’ve had to say “Yes, that was my stomach” far too many times today. Lentils were a mistake at the office.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

@ValkyrieLadyK @chrissyteigen Read the room.
She went for a horseback ride....like any person would on any given day...it’s actually relatable!

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

Anyone else exhausted with all this “you need to grow yourself” shit. I’m not a fucking houseplant. I’m a person. If I want to stay in my sweatpants, eat cheese and watch Netflix trash it’s gonna happen.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

True Irony:

I hate my face mask because it gives me acne.

I love my face mask because it hides my acne.

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

@robxxnn And looking fabulous!! Get it! ❤️

[Mandy Wanzz @MandyWanzz]

Today is the day Mariah Carey comes out of her cave and doesn’t shut up until Dec. 31st.