Maria DesRochers

I think I'm funny

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

*rubbing my temples while playing with my toddler* ok but you’re not abiding by the basic rules of improv

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

“Best, Maria” is now just a knee jerk reaction whether I’m sending an email, text, or honestly a tweet.

Best,
Maria

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

I would do just about anything to sit on the jury of the Alison DiLaurentis case circa 2015 PLL

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@kfrogo15 @OscarTheGrouch New year, same amount of my body being made up of cookies and trash

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@_Ceyzey If you find out, lmk

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

I’m trying to dance like this to Lavender Haze #MidnightsTaylorSwift

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@_Ceyzey Ugh fine. Stop pressuring me! I’ll also watch GOT from the beginning for the 3rd time. It just has to be done

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

Me: “I have so many shows I need to watch!”

Also me: “Now seems like the perfect time to watch Peaky Blinders from the beginning again…”

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@MeCookieMonster What a disgusting joke. The entire cookie market crashed because of this joke.

[Netflix @netflix]

Happy Oscars Sunday to all who celebrate!

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

I know everyone keeps saying “be the main character in your life” but I’m starting to feel like I’m the main character in He’s Just Not That Into You and I’m not loving it???

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@_Ceyzey For sure! They need a wire transfer into china for the shipping so I’ll just let them know you’ll be reaching out

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

People would be astonished by how many iPhone 13s I’ve magically won on Instagram

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@KateRogovich @MeCookieMonster Thank goodness. I was stressing about what to get my dad

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@jessKbretherton @laparksss Can’t wait for you to come visit and taste the actual chicken and the chip side by side 😏

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@ajcm40 In their defense, it’s getting spicy this season. Quite the controversy

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

Hey guys! New drinking game idea! Take a shot every time @SouthwestAir changes any of your flights you have booked! Ready? Oh wait… can’t play anymore. I’m already black out

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@SouthwestAir So far, not looking great. When I call customer service, I just sit on the phone waiting for someone to answer for over 25 minutes. How do I plan for a trip if enployees are scarce and I wait in line for 1 hr 45 minutes to check a bag and it still gets lost?

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@SouthwestAir I love you, I do, but I need you to get it together. I’ve booked 3 flights with you this year and each of those flights have gotten rerouted aggressively and on one of those flights, ya lost my bag. Come on, I’m not having fun anymore

[Maria DesRochers @MariaDesRochers]

@SouthwestAir lost my bag in a foreign country for over 24 hours and I still haven’t gotten any response back 4 days later. Customer service these days is just *chef’s kiss*