Depressing Mariners Facts

Depressing facts about the only franchise in Major League Baseball to have never won a pennant.

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

I’ve got an idea for the next president of Venezuela

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@MLB @Dodgers @Brewers The Milwaukee Brewers have more AL pennants than the Seattle Mariners

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@MarinersONTap No

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

Artificial intelligence could never create a light bat.

[Pope Leo XIV @Pontifex]

In this era of artificial intelligence, it is becoming urgent to distinguish human art from what machines produce. There is an ontological difference, even before an aesthetic one, between art and what a machine can generate through statistical calculation based on millions of images created by others. Algorithms lack the spark of humanity. For this reason, the Church wishes to renew an alliance with artists and cultural institutions to safeguard our humanity.

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@Pontifex Artificial intelligence could never create a light bat

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@MLBONFOX Oh good

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@nathan_h_b Being considered a Seattle Mariners franchise icon is being graded on a curve but serious answer is he was the only player other than Edgar and Jay Buhner on all 4 playoff teams between 1995 and 2001. He was an all star in 1996. He was good with fans and stayed involved.

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

The division series must have been the biggest news story of October 3, 1995!

[Dan Zeiger @ZeigerDan]

Once again: We did what you’re asking, in 1995. *Everyone* hated it — one of many reasons the *entire TV package* at the time was thrown in the trash; the new agreement called for staggered #MLBPostseason weekday starts. I’m begging people to put more thought into these takes.

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@ZeigerDan All 4 division series games started at the same time. That must have been the biggest story of October 3, 1995!

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@MLBGuyRocked He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs. He’s got a rocket for an arm.

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

2026 season cons:
-86 losses
-no playoffs
-Raleigh was bad
-Naylor was bad
-pitching was not good
-black holes in lineup
-no defense
-Dan Wilson looked lost
-Rick Rizzs retires
Pros:
-we gave the @Angels their first 100 loss season

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

The Happy Totals! #FarewellRick

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@MLBONFOX @RyanDivish It’s hard to think of less surprising news

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

This is sad because Rick was awesome and it’s even sadder because he never got to call a World Series game for us and also because this year we sucked.

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

A welcome worthy of a legend. #FarewellRick

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@AlbertBreer To go along with that we also know what a Madden impersonation should sound like thanks to Frank Caliendo

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

My only lingering question about this season is, where does it rank on our franchise’s list of most disappointing seasons?

[FOX Sports: MLB @MLBONFOX]

The Mariners will not be returning to the Postseason this year.

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@20YearsAgoSport @BroncoSportsFB His dad is also the high school coach

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@notgaetti Depressingly, the story about Rickey telling John Olerud that he had been teammates with a guy who wore a batting helmet in the field never happened.

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@OleTimeHardball I mean, yes a guy who is physically able to play baseball is going to net more WAR than a guy who isn’t. Thats the whole point of using it. Peak Eric Davis was obviously better than Kevin Keiermaier, but he also had lots of bad injury luck including having to beat cancer!

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@jwhittenbergK5 I’ve done the math and the odds of this happening are…really low

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

@aelfred_D And he was teammates with guys nicknamed, Papi, A-Rod, Bone, and The Kid and people didn’t think it was weird

[Depressing Mariners Facts @MarinerSadness]

McAfee just changed his check from 100K to 100 million lol for this kid