Mark Eaton

My politics: zealously apathetic. I like sports, muscle cars, comedy, gin and the genetics freaks we call super models. Former writer for the Capitol Steps.

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

Any chance we can convince China that the #CoronavirusOutbreak was caused by ivory, rhino horn, tiger penis & any other endangered species-fueled "medicine" they continue to demand.

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

Curb Your Enthusiasm pitch…Larry David scores court side tickets for the NBA Finals, but the Spurs coach stands in front of him without moving for the ENTIRE game.

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@PolitiBunny

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@mariana057 Authorities are questioning former girlfriend after Sting noted “And your brother's gonna kill me, and he's six feet ten. I can’t stand losing you.”

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@PolitiBunny The hovering horse on the small Blanton’s a real find.

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@80s_channel Is 5 even Kelly LeBrock? Looks like cosplay…

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@wydsilent Billy Paultz.

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@bendreyfuss That’s kooky talk…

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

Great time at @MuseumRockies checking out the frogs!

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

This kind of lie (or blatant stupidity) should disqualify him from running for reelection.

[Mark Warner @MarkWarner]

It seems there is an entirely different set of rules for Republicans and Democrats.

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@TennisGuy_31 Penny Lane and Sydney Sweeney are saving society!

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@ChrisMartzWX When I was growing up, the nightly news never opened with an overhyped “80 million people could be affected by severe weather tonight.”

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

Burn that entire room to the ground…

[Ron wright @ronsterd89]

Can anyone recommend the best way to get rid of mold/mildew/grime on the underside of a shower curtain?

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@Super70sSports You younger just don’t get it…

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@Super70sSports I remember when my local drive-in switched to broadcasting the audio over AM radio. We thought that was crazy hi-tech!

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

Chet Holmgren….
#Game7 #SAvsOKC

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

I hate the mic on the rim in OKC. Any miss sounds like a serious brick. 🏀 🧱

#SAvsOKC

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@BethBNewell @Liza137823 Standard feature in our futuristic Lakevale homes! 😀

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

@speederaserhead She had a 50 yard lead and it took 45 seconds to catch her? Them dogs are slow as hell…

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

Hey @FanaticsCollect - I bought one of those DIY bass guitar kits, had a friend laser engraved it, and then I hand-painted the monsters. Hope my son likes it!

[Mark Eaton @Mark13Eaton]

Until next Easter, I bid the last bag of SweeTARTS jelly beans (my favorite candy) adieu….