Mark Haneline

NO HALF MEASURES. Verified Nobody, Father, Libertarian, ER worker, Essentialist, Contrarian, Midwestern Misanthrope,Cigar &Whiskey Fan & Round Earth Shill.

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

Top reasons for ER visit

-Penis strangulation
-Sleep crust on eyelashes
-It’s cold & I want chicken strips
-Vampire problems
-Going bald & that’s not ok
-Dry lips
-Low libido
-Blackhead (just one)
-Has ghosts in house.
-Consumed by dragon

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

“I have a bump on my anus that makes me get fevers”

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

Top reasons for ER visit

-Penis strangulation
-Sleep crust on eyelashes
-It’s cold & I want chicken strips
-Vampire problems
-Going bald & that’s not ok
-Dry lips
-Low libido
-Blackhead (just one)
-Has ghosts in house.
-Consumed by dragon

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

-I cut myself with a butter knife

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@tkahuna15 @RGIII @OuttaPocketRG3 The fact that this drew a flag is why I stopped watching @NFL football.

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@brs3333333 Her full commitment in the cigar lounge. Smoke. A drink. Banter with the men in the room. That’s the feminine spell. Captivating.

[Rand Paul @RandPaul]

Everyone keeps talking about “affordability,” but really, this issue is called “inflation.”

Our annual deficit runs $2 trillion and the Fed buys roughly a third of that by printing new money. Every new dollar that’s printed dilutes the value of the money in our pockets.

Gold doesn’t expand when Congress spends. Paper money does. That’s the difference.

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@veteranste80071 @kevinblue345

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

“Yeah, it’s hot outside. And ummmmm, well DHS took my kids.”

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@Kamil26515 @peterrhague Caining. Michael Fay, US citizen convicted of vandalism in Singapore. I’m willing to bet he never vandalized anything again.

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@L1ghtlySeared @MagaGrunt1 Agreed, I’m convinced one of the main reasons soccer isn’t bigger in America is because of the flop. Especially when you contrast with NFL, NHL or even rugby.

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@doseals @chefsevenn Chimichurri.

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@Brandconator @GfedGoCrazy Ames lives in the shadow of both DSM & IC (and probably Council Bluffs as well).

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@aja2130 @DeanJones1980 @GigglingGanon

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@jimgeeting @gecffmn So by your logic, a sheriff who refused to return a slave to their owner under the Fugitive Slave Act of 1793 was not doing his job?

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@GentlemenDigest Savannah, Georgia

[Danny Deraney @DannyDeraney]

Every year, I share this video of French caretakers who take sand from Omaha Beach in Normandy, and scrub them into the letters to give them the gold coloring.

They do this for all 9,386 US soldiers who died.

France also gave us this land as American soil. #MemorialDayWeekend

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@SciFiArchives Looks like she’s rocking the ANPRC77.
If it stops working, just drop it from a few feet up.

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@lippyent Breakfast for dinner

[Planet Of Memes @PlanetOfMemes]

Best license plate ever. 😆

[Mark Haneline @MarkHaneline]

@richard_rodi @RealDonKeith How dare this mere employee have the gall to speak to his betters.

Thank the lord that @MillironTX was there to remove all levity, understanding & civility from this situation and put this pleb in his place.

“Now get out of my court!”