Mark Hays

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

How are we supposed to watch football when the Shopping Cart Return championship is going on?

[Mario Nawfal @MarioNawfal]

THE NIGHT SKY ON MARS LOOKS INSANE

Imagine standing on Martian soil under a sky so dense with stars it feels unreal.

That’s the view - no atmosphere to blur it, no city lights to drown it out.

How long until we’re the ones under that sky?

[Doug Gladden @DougtheLawyer]

If Southwest Airlines had assembled a focus group and asked them "what's the stupidest thing that we could do to ruin our company," this is what they would have come up with.

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

Hey @SouthwestAir Just saw the changes in your baggage policy and flight credit expiration. Very disappointing. Why don’t you just get it over with and change your name to American Airlines Jr.? Any advantages you had over any other subpar carrier are rapidly disappearing.

[Baseball’s Greatest Moments @BBGreatMoments]

Nolan Ryan had four seasons in his 27 year career in which he had more strikeouts than base-runners allowed. At age 40, 42, 43, and 44.

[Eli Jordan @TheEliJordan]

If you’re a life long Cowboys fan and you’ve had enough, come get on board with the Dallas Stars. They’re fun and not run by lunatics.

[Courtney Howard @Lulamaybelle]

As we all grieve the immense loss of actor James Earl Jones (Star Wars, The Lion King), I wanted to celebrate one his funnier milestones, reading Letterman’s best Top Ten List, reciting commercial jingles with his spectacular, powerful, booming voice. #RIPJamesEarlJones

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Olympic vs Regular Swimmers

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

@FB_Helmet_Guy Jose "let me take you on a sea" Cruz

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

@Super70sSports Muskrat Love by Captain & Tenille and Having My Baby by Paul Anka

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

@Drf93Figueroa

[Shooter McGavin @ShooterMcGavin]

Comic The Triumph Insult Dog insulting Star Wars fans is still one of the funniest skits ever produced

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

@historyrock_ 1. Stevie Ray
2. Eddie Van Halen
3. Others

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

Proud to announce our first class of TCC Career Faculty Fellows! https://t.co/hgLbvEovTU

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

@RealSkipBayless You are absolutely pathetic. Good god. Just go away.

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

@LockedOnSooners Ladies and gents, we have found the dumbest tweet ever to grace the internet. A houseplant has a higher IQ than you.

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

@HumansNoContext NBA

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

I remember when sports broadcast networks used to value professionalism and objectivity. Nice job, @espn and @SECNetwork. You must be proud of pant loads like this moron.

[Dari Nowkhah @ESPNDari]

Big 12 refs with the hose job. You knew it would happen. Nice job league.

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

@WallStreetSilv $0. And it’s wonderful.

[Mark Hays @MarkHays2]

@clownworld

[BaseballHistoryNut @nut_history]

You’ll never be better than a MLB player no matter how bad they are