don't worry, Robert Mueller will bring Trump to justice
don't worry, Rod Rosenstein will bring Trump to justice
don't worry, Cy Vance will bring Trump to justice
don't worry, Letitia James will bring Trump to justice
don't worry, Merrick Garlaโ *screams into a pillow*
"I hate to lose ... but I'm also someone who believes strongly in our republic ... I see no proof that this election was stolen" -- it's the absolute bare minimum, but credit to Jack Ciattarelli for saying this during his concession speech
Josh Hawley's manly new Republican cologne is called:
1) Naugahyde
2) Caucasian Mist
3) Dad's Insoles
4) Best Western
5) Negligence
6) Subpoena Pour Homme
7) Eau de Arbys
8) Insurrection by Faberge
9) Elon Musk