Mark Sammons

Some sort of ribbon worm ejaculating its proboscis all over Twitter.

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Just got a random text saying "Don't deserve to be a father u dickhead not wishing u nowt". It's either great spam or one fucked up family.

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Bloody hell, which one these teams has the fans wit the vuvuzelas and tuneless trumpets? They need to screw off.

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Russia have been compotent, but Saudi Arabia have been total shit.

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Because signed off from work, this may be the first time I have been able to watch an entire World Cup, pretty much every game. Oh well, something good has come out of almost dying!

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Man alive. https://t.co/dz9g52w8dN

[James Undy @JamesUndy1]

🎵 It’s The End Of The World As We Know It ... 🎵

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Oh crap. @TSB is still not working. It's just taken 2 payments off me which means I have well over paid my credit card. Damn damn damn

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Being stuck in the hospital for more than a week is awfully boring, but I guess necessary.

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

A new International Forged In Fire edition. Yes, please.

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

James Acaster's R-sets are as good as I remember. Amazing he didn't win the Edinburgh award for one of these

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

@Dibble75 Needs more cowbell

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

@rosepetalpistol Hope you feeling much better these days

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Just saw something where they mentioned Norman Motte and Bailey castles and now this imprinted on my brain: https://t.co/zSqjYnI802

[Bastid. @SkratchBastid]

So RZA plugged the headphones into the mic jack at our kitchen party and started freestyling #alltimemoments https://t.co/aDfLshxgBX

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Not sure I have seen anything dodger than that Nicola Horlick, "give me all your money, I pay myself a shit load and walk away scot-free when it all goes to shit...you not so much" investment TV advert

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

I like Lucas Moura. Not enough balding twentysomething footballers around these days.

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

That is an impressive take on Dave Allen by Aiden Gillen https://t.co/qVlCzHSvuR

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

I just don't understand the Marcus Brigstocke "Dan" Experian adverts. Why him? Surely he is too well known? And why did he do it? And if then, Experian?? It's the antithesis of his comedy, like Monbiot advertising Esso. Is he is in real financial shit?

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

My childhood in a gif https://t.co/pceUn0IFCj

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

Shitting hell, I'm an idiot that can't read. Thought Spurs had sacked Poch for a worrying few seconds

[Mark Sammons @MarkSammons]

The final round of Only Connect is dumb as shit in comparison to the rest, especially as it has about 7 times as many points as the earlier harder rounds