Mark W. Carson

Author, neurotic and generally chatty person who makes bad puns. Say what you want, because I probably will.

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

Rumors of my demise may have been exaggerated. Back to writing.

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@BetoORourke You are criminally stupid.

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@shadmbrooks As a fellow writer, and fan of your Youtube channel, I was wondering if I could ask you a few, questions, preferably not public. I understand if you're busy and cannot. Please let me know. Thanks

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@INukeYou @GordonRamsay It was a gag, honestly. Had some leftovers for the kids and thought I'd "Dress it up" to get a rise out of a fellow perfectionist.

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@GordonRamsay Having spaghetti & meatball. What do you think of the plating?

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

There are animals outside, and based on the noise, they're doing calisthenics. I swear one of them has a whistle

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@LiteralSalt Damn, you could conjure a patronus with that thing

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

Northeast be damned. I guess I'm a southerner now

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@Fizzygrrl I've dislocated ribs. I'm "Relating to Red Foreman, not Eric" years old.

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

if I've been silent a while, it's cuz I'm swamped with work and moving stuff. This may change in the not so short term. You've been warned

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@INukeYou Reached the final level of your training, you have, hrmmm?

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@megmatic absolutely. HMU for something. Glad this is working for you :)

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

#NameASuperheroSexAct The Wolverine. It involves claws and Hugh Jackman down under

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

#NameASuperheroSexAct The Green Lantern. You get Ryan Reynolds to do a movie and he screws everybody who watches out of 90 minutes

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@megmatic I have other recipes, as well. You're welcome to them.

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

Hey @ThatKevinSmith & @JasonMewes
Idea. A podcast called Princes of the Mewesiverse.
Go forth...

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@veschwab @joanpaq Cookies!? (starts writing furiously)
"It was a dork and stormy night..."

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@veschwab I hear the road is paved with tears... and probably some snot from ugly crying. @joanpaq

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@INukeYou I read that as porcelain, and wondered what kind of toilet games he was playing.

[Mark W. Carson @MarkWCarson]

@andrew_heister You're not supposed to feed'em after midnight.