Marm Loaf

...and the world spins madly on.

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

If I die of a hangnail, please put on my tombstone: "This bitch died of a hangnail' #stoned #SanFrancisco

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

Party at @ElysiumAustin was totally radical, as usual. #HR4HR #80sNite

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

I just watched a YouTube video about a $20,000 cell phone followed by a $4 cell phone review. Go #Capitalism #stoned #GoTS7 #quadsquad

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

I used to own at Q-Bert back in the day, but the new one kicks my ass. Damn I'm old. #stoned #qbert #geezergamer

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

90% of my Fitbit steps are from walking into a room and forgetting why I'm there. #Alzheimers #stoned

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

I've only been to New Orleans on layovers, but this is pretty much how I imagine it. #stoned + #familyguy = 👌 https://t.co/U5ypKMFnJd

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

Earlier today, I'm pretty sure I saw my mom turn on a lamp so she could see her phone better. #momlogic #stoned #MothersDay

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

Are swimsuits just lingerie for the water or is lingerie a swimsuit for the air? #stoned #fridaynight #climatechange

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

Texting: a completely closed captioned conversation. #alliteration #stoned

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

Powdered Mac and Cheese is the best...How do you know that powder isn't real cheese? #YouDont #stoned #ThatBreezeTho

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

Hearses shouldn't be allowed for recreational use. To and from the cemetery only. It's an unspoken rule. #beefaroni #stoned

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

Oh, that's weird... Why did I download this? #NeverForget #stoned

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

If I were in a 90s band, I'd name it "Psychosomatic Cyborgs" .. #WeFeelNoPain #stoned

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

🙎What's for dinner?
🤵Salad and pancakes.
🙎Sounds awful
🤵I had it for lunch and breakfast. It is. Please buy groceries.
#stoned #TimeFlies

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

I will fly any airline that offers a free shower​ to that one stinky guy that always flies. You know the one. #stoned #stinkyflyguy

[c☭sh s☭llout @cashsellout]

every single day i send my mom a very strange text and every day she responds with something absurdly optimistic and kind

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

I've never needed to be worried about avalanches. #NoJudgment #stoned #seattle

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

One of these days I'll fulfill my lifelong dream of having a bowl of crumbled Oreos with milk. #stoned #OreoCereal #ShouldBeAllowedAtWork

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

The mall is like Wal Mart, but with a few normal people sprinkled in. #stoned #choppinchalots

[Marm Loaf @Marmloaf]

If I had to take a pill to stop me from shitting on myself, but had to give up steak, I'd eat steak and shit on myself. #ILoveSteak #stoned