Marose 4 School Board 😞

Fighter. Lover. Karen. Bigfoot erotica stan. FORMER Candidate for Bloomington Schools. We need less CRT and more BRT (Bigfoot related topics). Parody.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

Maybe the real school board was the friends we made along the way?

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

Someone hacked my ballot!

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

It’s Election Day, so remember to vote! There are four seats open on the School Board, and I am proud to support three other candidates that share my values: Oswald C. Cobblepot, Edward Nigma, and Johnathan Crane. Together, we will stop CRT and take back Gotham from the Bat!

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

🚨1 DAY TIL ELECTION DAY🚨

Implement my system to replace CRT:

Stop teaching about racism
Undo Civil Rights
Pretend Marxism did it
Resist all change
Equity is forbidden, just say “equality, wink”
Marxism again
Abolish all words
Create a culture of fear
Yell all of this loudly

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

🚨2 DAYS TIL ELECTION DAY🚨

Support science teachers that actually teach from the curriculum, instead of teaching their opinions, also the curriculum is the Bible and it has lots of photographs of Jesus, who was white and rich.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

🚨3 DAYS TIL ELECTION DAY🚨

Let’s resolve the paraprofessional contract dispute by firing all of the paras and replacing them with all the the police we’re going to be losing who refuse to take Covid shots.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

🚨4 DAYS TIL ELECTION DAY🚨

We will hire teachers that aren’t afraid to teach about Big Foot, the litigious nature of Big Foot, how there was once a pizza named The Big Foot, and how Big Foot sued Pizza Hut into removing it from the menu for copyright infringement (on Big Foot).

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

🚨5 DAYS TIL ELECTION DAY🚨

We must send a strong message of support to our trans students, who need our love and support during this tumultuous journey they’re taking through the public school system.

Wait. No, not trans. Whatever the opposite of that is. Yes.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

🚨6 DAYS TIL ELECTION DAY🚨

I will open the golden sarcophagus of JFK beneath the school, descend the crystal staircase, light the pyre, say a dark prayer to Mekhane, activate the Dread Machine, and just, you know, see what happens.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

🚨ONE WEEK TIL ELECTION DAY🚨

I will be going over my platform positions from now until Nov 2 for undecided voters. If you are still unconvinced by then, you are a communist, and I do not want your vote.

7. Strong curriculum that teaches true, unvarnished history of the TekWar.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

I will be auctioning off an NFT of my credibility! Bidding will start at $15 thousand, and will consist of my entire credibility. Please note, this image is just a jpeg of my credibility, you will be bidding on the NFT of my credibility, which just like my credibility, is real.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

School board isn’t ranked choice, but if it was, you should rank me #4 behind Jesus, a giant meteor that has a nonzero chance of hitting Earth in the next 159 years, and a mirror image of me that only appears on reflective surfaces in rooms where people have sinned.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

We must stop at nothing to protect our children from gender-ambiguous pronouns. They are depending on us.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

If there was no such thing as Critical Race Theory, as liberals so often claim, then how can you explain the fact that I insist that it does? Or is Bertrand Russell and his theory of the metaphysical existence of hypothetical objects through indirect reference suddenly wrong???

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

To whoever keeps stealing my signs in front of the Taco Bell, please understand that by crossing me, you have made your second to last mistake. Your last mistake was crossing Yum! Brands, Inc.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

Thinking about filing an FEC complaint against https://t.co/Zr760sJ6PO. Without the ability to spread racist innuendo and rank misinformation, this outage is disproportionately impacting the campaigns of family-oriented conservatives such as myself.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

I look forward to winning this free and fair election in a landslide, because anything less means that this process was rigged from the start and corrupt through and through, and unlike some people, I still believe in democracy.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

What people have to understand is that the video of those kayakers trying to speak to me while I'm on my yacht does NOT prove that I don't live in the city. I ensure that I am always anchored on the Bloomington side of the river, except on Sundays, which is my "me time."

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

My opponents say they are for ‘inclusive restrooms,’ but they don’t tell you what that means. Is it a giant hole that everyone is forced to use at the same time while making eye contact? Who knows! Vote for the candidate who supports our current system of toilets and pipes.

[Marose 4 School Board 😞 @Marose4BPS]

Radical Leftists want to rename Jefferson High School, and honestly, I agree. Once elected, I vow to rename ALL schools in Bloomington after President Donald J. Trump. Jefferson? That’s Trump. Kennedy? That’s a Trump. Poplar Bridge? Oh, you better believe that’s a Trump.