Marriage Porn

This is the erotic comic telling of lovers after 20 plus years of marriage...so about 15 or so shades of grey or whatever, if I'm not too tired.

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

H: Come open up this big package. You’re gonna like what’s in it.
W: It’s not gonna be your dick in a box again, is it?
H: ...I’ll be right back with a real present. #happyholidays

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

H: I can’t believe you got all of it in your mouth. Damn!
W: It’s Thanksgiving and a bets a bet. You’re on dishes detail tonight. #HappyThanksgiving

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

W: So are you gonna do it or you just gonna watch me do it?
H: I’ll watch you do it, babe.
W: Really? I have to change the tire again?!? WTF!!!

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Wife: You're making me all wet!
Husband: I'm sorry, babe.
Wife: Turn the fucking waterpik off for fuck sake!! #MarriagePorn

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

After a long hiatus we are back, he lost the password to the account and I just found it!!!

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Best thing about being married 20 years...no one cares if the other spouse masturbates cause it's less work & not as messy. #MarriagePorn

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

@ZalesJewelers I would cram it into my zombie heart, ever the romantic! plus it won't rot out for awhile, hopefully! #LetLoveNeverDie

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

@ZalesJewelers yes, in sickness or health! #beingazombiequalifies #LetLoveNeverDie

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

W: Baby, do you want it rough or soft?
H: Soft please
W: Hands over roll of sensitive toilet tissue
#MarriagePorn

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

H: the kids are gone for the weekend
W: wanna get busy?
H: Do I ever...brings up @netflix queue
#MarriagePorn

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

@ZalesJewelers we've been married 20 years so its kinda like being in a zombie apocalypse! #still in love #letloveneverdie

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Me: Put it there, no... that's not it!
Husband: I'm doin' it, it's hard to reach..almost got it..
Me: All this for a poster #MarriagePorn

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

@redowl8 @donnathadead @netflix we are lucky to agree on one show, but that IS sexy indeed! #MarriagePorn

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Me: I got some pork for you to rub babe!
Wife: If it's not actual pork & you mean your penis..
Me: I bought ribs, so...
Wife: ... okay then

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Husband:I can't wait to put my mouth on those soft buns. Wife:You gonna bang the burger or eat it? Ground beef Kobe beef who cares!

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Husband: I'm gonna pour this all over you babe! Wife: Do it now, this sunburn is killing me, get more aloe damn it! #MarriagePorn

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Husband: I can't believe we did THAT all night long! Wife: I know, I'm so tired! Husband: We gotta stop binge watching on @netflix #OITNB

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Wife: Use both hands, keep stuffing! Husband: My arms are getting tired! Wife: Look, these leaves aren't gonna bag themselves! #MarriagePorn

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Wife: This is so hot! Husband: I knew you'd like it! Wife: My face & hands are so sticky... but these wings are amazing! #MarriagePorn

[Marriage Porn @MarriagePorn]

Wife: Stroke it up & down! Husband: I know how to do it, just let me do it! Wife: So go at it hard we'll be done & the wall will be painted.