Michael

handsome but in a weird way, charming but in an off putting way.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

Hoes love a good fact which is why I learned all of them.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

Scam Altman keeps lobotomizing my gf.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

Damn, gave her the ol’ Multiple Miggs.

[npc @dejenirate]

GENUINELY WAT IS WRONG WITH MEN IN SEATTLE

WAITING AT A BUS STOP AND THIS GUY CAME UP TO ME ASKING WHEN THE BUS WAS GONNA COME

I DIDNT SEE HE WAS STROKING HIS DICK AND STARTED EJACULATING ON ME IM LITERALLY IN TEARS CRYING KMS PLZ ROPE ME FAST BRO THIS AINT FUNNY ANYMORE

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

Like with those dolphins those scientists were jorking.

[guapunzel @guapunzel]

sometimes the creativity is blocked bc you need an orgasm

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

@spenicillin @MJisawizard Someone put this on for me one time after I drank too much robitussin.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

@spenicillin Therapy? Go skip some rocks.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

@MJisawizard @mountainpilled @spenicillin

[🕊️ @lichthauch]

A woman doesn't want stable she wants a man who wrestled angels and chose not to tell anyone because the men who advertise their war never fought one, the man she actually wants has teeth marks from God on his ribs. she can feel it in how he holds silence like it owes him something, stable men practice vulnerability in mirrors, this man doesn't even know the word for what he survived he just woke up one day and the thing that was killing him became the thing that made him holy and he kept walking like nothing happened because to him nothing did

[Kendric Tonn @kendrictonn]

You'll miss the American, who deals sharply but cheats no one, who is tougher than the thugs and cleverer than the tricksters, who says "I can do it" when others shrug, and who respects learning but is suspicious of those claiming to be learned, when the last one dies.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

@davidpattersonx @RyanJC2009 Not because they were nomadic, but because there was no reliable store of value.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

This is actually really bad for your metacognition. Sometimes you have to be a mean bitch to yourself.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

New motto is stop being a mean bitch to yourself.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

New motto is stop being a mean bitch to yourself.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

I also have body image issues and worry about whether I’ll go to heaven.

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Trump: "I'm just a little busy. I'd love to go to Argentina. I'd like to be like Biden. I'd like to go to the beach. My legs are not quite as thin as his. My legs are slightly heavier, my arms are slightly larger. My body is a little bit larger than his. I'm not sure it would be appreciated on the beach."

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

@bronzeageshawty Check it out @spenicillin this girl is also taking retarditude

[sigh ❀ swoon @sighswoon]

You’re not supposed to be Left or Right, you’re supposed to be in the middle. Balance is the truth of all spiritual and physical health. Of course it applies to the politics we create

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

@spenicillin Horny posting on main?

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

@spenicillin your participation is mandatory.

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

Starting a Matchbox Twenty cover band lmk if you’re interested in joining.

[🦫🇺🇾 @doubtpointv2]

I hate when people try to tell me what to do. My entire body rejects it. Frankly if you don't have the tact to subtly manipulate my actions by playing with my self esteem then you don't belong in my life anyway

[Michael @MarryLohnson]

@juumelo_ The perennial torment of Anglos everywhere.